He Made the Stars

     I love looking at the sky at night.  Sometimes when I am waiting on my husband to get his boots on so we can leave for wherever we are headed, I will go outside and stand on the driveway, looking up at the stars.  Some are easily seen.  They are there, visible and clear to the naked eye.  Some, however, are not so easily seen.  Their shimmer catches your eye, but you just can't get a clear focus on them. 
     The depth of the sky intrigues me.  As I stood there the other night, straining to see what was just beyond view, I couldn't help but sing.  Here's a link to Selah singing this beautiful song... https://youtu.be/SKDujmtyAVk
     It's the first couple of lines that I was thinking about:

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure...

Deeper (more mysterious, more secret, more unfathomable) than the farthest reaches of space, that's how much the Father loves me.  And you.  As vast (extensive, expansive, broad, boundless, immeasurable, limitless, and infinite) as the sky and the stars that light it, that's how much the Father loves me.  And you.  As I stood there trying to see, I realized I could never see the end.  In the same way, I can never see the end of God's love.  He is the creator of the universe.  He is the lover of my soul.  He knows the number of stars in space, and He knows the number of hairs on my head. 

     Go outside tonight and stare up at the stars.  He placed each one in it's place.  They don't move.  Look over at the Big Dipper.  Those stars in a straight line forming the bottom of the cup...they are steady and true.  Reliable.  A sailor can look up and find his way home by following the stars.  They are placed there by the One who placed YOU right here, right now.  He is steady and true.  Faithful to love you.  He gave His only son to make you His treasure.  He is reliable, and by looking to Him you can find your way home.

As we get ready to celebrate Easter, I encourage you to remember that Jesus is the reason for this season.  He suffered and died for you.  He conquered death and then rose from the grave for you.  We must understand that he went through brutal beatings and excruciating pain so that we could experience the beauty of forgiveness for our sins and stand before God cleansed by his blood.  The bunnies and chicks are cute.  But don't take your eye off the cross.  For without the cross there would not be reason to celebrate.  Without the cross we could never know the depth and vastness of His love for us.

    

     



Sneaking in Those Green Peas!

     Today I had the best time with the Lord!  You know how your mom used to sneak the green peas into your mashed potatoes?  Well, sometimes that's the way it is with blessings.  We think we know what we want, make our plans accordingly, and proceed without much thought to the process. For me, I would dig into those potatoes and leave the peas to the side, no thought given.  They may be good for me, but they aren't my favorite.  Mom would sneak them into the potatoes to get me to eat them.  Today He snuck some peas in and I couldn't help but smile. 
     I knew last night that this was going to be a busy morning.  My mother-in-law had an appointment at 8:50 with a doctor and I had a very important meeting at 10:00.  I planned to get up early - had to get my new hair fixed! - and get to the doctor's office way early in hopes of being seen quicker and getting to my own appointment on time. 
     I jumped up and headed to the shower at 6:30.  Since cool weather set in a few months ago, I have gotten into the habit of sleeping until after seven. To be totally honest, I've really established a routine of getting up by 7:30, taking the dog out, feeding him, making my coffee, watching the morning news, getting some breakfast, another cup of coffee, and finally getting dressed about 10:00.  Easy, restful mornings that sound wonderful, but it is not really the way I want my days to go.  Maybe it comes from being at my desk by 7:00 a.m. for so many years, but I like getting the day going early.  It's just been so easy to stay under the quilt in this cold weather!  These past few days, though, I have been thinking a lot about changing my routine. 
     Well, it turns out my new hair doesn't take all that long to fix, and I was ready quicker than I thought I would be this morning.  So, by 7:20 I was dressed and ready to go.  Normally I am just rolling out of bed!   I had my hair done, makeup on, was dressed, had time to enjoy my coffee and have my breakfast, AND get out the door by 8:00.  We made all our appointments in plenty of time...even though it took fifteen minutes for the valets to get my car and bring it up.  
     Our moms sneak the peas in because they know we won't partake just because they tell us to.  We want the mashed potatoes because they are easy and creamy and comfortable.  The peas are green, healthy, different, and only fun for toddlers to chase across the high-chair tray, but that's just my opinion.  God showed me this morning that my comfort can come with things that are good for me.  Getting up and ready early are good things, and make my day go much smoother.  Starting the day ready for whatever I need to do brings with it an attitude of success and confidence. 
     I looked up the definition of comfort and it said this:  a state or situation in which you are relaxed ...  and I discovered that God gave me a busy morning to get me up early and get my day going.  It broke my routine and gave me insight into what I am missing.  I am much more relaxed, and even though I had a busy start, I have gotten so much accomplished in the short time I have been home.  He directed my paths.  He interrupted my routine and showed me that switching things up and breaking the routine can bring comfort of a different kind.
     Taste and see that the Lord is good! (Psalm 34:8)  He may slip some peas into your day, but if you try them, you may like them!  

The First Year

     This time a year ago I was starting to lose my hair.  I've never been a glam girl, so it wasn't especially traumatic for me, but today I got my first real hair cut and style since chemo began and it feels amazing.  I love my new look!  Gray hair and all.  May I share this journey with you?
     About two weeks after your first dose of A&C, that mean chemo that makes you so sick, your hair starts to come out.  Knowing this, my husband and I made an appointment and went wig shopping before my chemo started.  The lady at The Wig Palace was so sweet and kind.  She is a cancer survivor, so she was very empathetic.  We had fun that day trying on new looks.  Since Caitlin wasn't here and was dealing with this diagnosis so far away from us, we took silly pictures and sent them to her.  We laughed a lot that day, especially when Connally was the one trying on the hair! It seems so long ago now.
     I liked the wig we picked.  I liked the look - it wasn't anything my real hair would ever do.  I guess they don't make naturally curly wigs.  I liked the color.  I liked the style.  Oh, but I hated wearing that thing.  I only did it for the kids at school.  The big kids would have rallied and been very supportive, but kindergarteners are just so little.  I didn't want to burden their little hearts.  Everyday when I left school there was a ball cap in the seat and I would switch from hair to cap as soon as I was passed the playground and out of sight.  Once school was out and I was retired, the wig went into the box and onto the top shelf of the closet.  Hats became my everyday attire.
     It didn't take long after chemo for my hair to start coming back.  Now we know what the real color is.  I love the gray, and I'm believing my friends who say I look younger.  The question was, what about the curl?  I loved my curly, wash and wear hair.  Since most people who had straight hair report their hair came back curly, would mine be straight?  Funny, but that was the thing that bothered me.  I wanted my curls.
     My sweet friend, Betty Jo, ministered to me by shaving my hair down really short for the shedding days.  She prayed over me.  She even sang to me.  It was a precious time and she made me feel so special.  Then, as my hair came back in she would trim and snip and try to get some shape out of the mess.  Yes, I got my curls.  Most of them.  The back is really curly, the top, not so much.  But that's ok.  I also hoped it would come back thicker, but it didn't.  That's ok, too.  This is definitely better than it was six months ago. 
     That brings us to today.  I went to see Betty Jo and she worked her magic.  I've never had a hairstyle that I loved like this!  I hope I will be able to reproduce this tomorrow morning!  I may have to sleep with my head wrapped in tissue paper, sitting up, so as not to disturb her masterpiece.
     Now that your curiosity is up, I will share a picture along with some from the past year. 

    This was on my last day of chemo - no eyelashes or eyebrows...

     This was made after my first survivor walk...there was a little bit...

This is today....

...It's been a few days since I started this blog.  I am happy to report that I once again own a blow-dryer and round brush.  It's easy to keep and I am able to maintain the look! 

     What have I learned?  It doesn't matter whether you have hair or not.  It matters that you are alive. What you look like isn't the point.  The point is that you do your best to reflect the Lord.