In my devotion this morning the Lord pressed His truth upon my heart. As I prayed and talked to Him about some deeply personal and tender issues, all I could think about was the song, Oceans. I couldn't help but think that when He calls me out upon the water, I must learn from Peter and keep my eyes on Jesus. Remember? Good ol' Peter. Caught in a windstorm in a boat in the middle of a lake, Peter looks out and sees someone...what is that? A man? Walking on the water? Jesus, is that you? Are you walking on top of the water? If it's you, Lord, I want to come too! And he did. He walked on water...as long as he kept his focus on the one who had called him. It was when Peter took his eyes off Jesus that he began to sink.
Have you ever been there? In a storm, tossed to and fro, fearful of what will be? Or maybe you have been in a different kind of storm...a storm that brings words skillfully aimed to hurt you. Or maybe you have had to face a medical diagnosis that brought more questions than answers. Or, just maybe, everything seemed to come at you at once and you were like that little ship tossed about in the wind, unable to control the direction of your life or the direction from which the next strong gust of wind destined to blow you off course would come. Me too. I mean, really, who can control the wind? I've been through all of them.
Through it all, Jesus wants us to follow Him. To step out of the perceived safety of our known environment and go where He leads. To step out upon the water. "Come." That was what He said to Peter. "Come," is the same thing He says to me. And to you.
Sometimes our storms last for years. During that time it is so easy to lose our focus. Instead of keeping our eyes on Jesus and walking toward Him, we start looking around trying to dodge the next crashing wave or stand up to the crippling force of the wind. We start to sink. We find ourselves drowning in the bitterness, fear, and heartache that overwhelms us. The pressure builds around us and painfully crushes us. We slip deeper into the darkness.
Let's be like Peter. When he started sinking he called out to the Lord. Call out to the Lord today. Tell him your troubles and struggles. Reach out and take His hand. Let's put fear behind us and step out upon the water, keeping our eyes on Jesus lest we surely drown.
Wednesday, November 6, 2019
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
When the Unexpected Comes Your Way
Before you start reading this, I must tell you there is so much going through my brain that I want to share with you, I pray it comes out clearly and isn't a massive jumble of words and thoughts!
It's been almost two months since our life took another unexpected turn. It was February 18th when I went for what I expected to be a routine mammogram, ended up in ultrasound, and then had a biopsy. Then on March 8th I had the surgery to remove the second round of cancer from my body.
I want you to know I have no regrets. In fact, I am quite relieved. The cancer is gone. There is little chance of it returning because this time we found it super early and there were no lymph nodes involved. But you know all that.
I want to share with you today a little bit about how God has used this in my life. I'll be very honest. My first question was, really? Why? I had just made my five year mark from my first diagnosis. One of my doctors had even released me the week before because I had done so well. This time God chose to answer my question as to why.
I was reading my Bible a couple of weeks ago and came across a section of scripture I've read often over the years. That day, however, it came to life for me in a way I had never experienced. Don't you love it when that happens?! It was like God had a spotlight shining on it and a big flashing arrow pointing to it so that I wouldn't miss it. Here's the scripture:
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Paul goes on to say that he had been going through some particularly tough afflictions. He was going through something so bad that he was in fear of his life...
Verse 9-10 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
When I read that my heart rejoiced! I knew God was speaking to me. You see, there is one thing we cannot control. Well, two. Death and taxes. I can't control when I will die or what will kill me. Will it be cancer? A car wreck? Old age? (That topic's getting a little touchy since I will be 60! in a couple of weeks.) Influenza? A random accident? A blood clot? Who knows? Only God. He knows the days of my life as well as he knows every cell of my body. He knows the plans he has for me.
And a second battle with cancer was in his plan. His plan is that I go through this again so I can reach out to tell you my story. I apologize now if you get tired of hearing it, but it's what he has given me. By telling my story other women (and men) will be encouraged. He has comforted me....I am to comfort the people I meet.
Almost from the moment I received my diagnosis on February 20th a song started running through my thoughts. It's an old song. One of those seasonal hymns we sang in the old days when a missionary was coming to speak or when someone was leaving to go to Africa. (Because when I was little it seemed like anyone who was going to missions was going to Africa or somewhere equally as remote and far away.)
The song goes like this:
Verse 1
We've a story to tell to the nations,
That shall turn their hearts to the right,
A story of truth and mercy,
A story of peace and light,
A story of peace and light.
Refrain
For the darkness shall turn to dawning,
And the dawning to noonday bright;
And Christ's great kingdom shall come on earth,
The kingdom of love and light.
So, my friend, let me say this, it's all in how we look at it. Would I have chosen this journey again? Well, no. Yet, here I am. And I realize this journey will never be over, for it is the path chosen for me by my Savior. The path I am to walk to reflect his peace and light to the world around me. For only when you have walked through something that causes you to know you are not the one in control will you experience the peace and light. It is a peace that honestly and truthfully surpasses all understanding. I can't explain it to you. It's an experience that cannot be shared with words. I also know that I know that God's light is shining on my path. He gave me that promise in Psalm 119.
So, what are you going through? Cancer? Maybe not, but I can promise you that if you turn to the Lord and rely on him, he will comfort you.
In case you're wondering, this surgery hasn't been an awful recovery, but I've had some struggles. I developed a seroma and have had a couple weeks of trying to keep this fluid drained out of my body. I haven't felt well, and I have stayed on the couch a lot. Tomorrow I think we will finally take this drain out. And then the final stage of my healing can begin!
Now that I've said all that, what I want to leave with you is this. I want you to know I trust the Lord completely and he has comforted me in beautiful and glorious ways over the last couple of months. He has heard your prayers. He has held my hand when things weren't going like I wanted them to go. I want you to know my hope is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth. There is nothing I can do to change my situation. I can't undo the cancer. For today, though, I choose to live the best life I can, even in the hardest of times. I rely on God, because I can't do anything about it even if I tried.
Finally, I want you to know this, I give him glory for giving me another chance to say, "Thank you, God, for choosing me."
It's been almost two months since our life took another unexpected turn. It was February 18th when I went for what I expected to be a routine mammogram, ended up in ultrasound, and then had a biopsy. Then on March 8th I had the surgery to remove the second round of cancer from my body.
I want you to know I have no regrets. In fact, I am quite relieved. The cancer is gone. There is little chance of it returning because this time we found it super early and there were no lymph nodes involved. But you know all that.
I want to share with you today a little bit about how God has used this in my life. I'll be very honest. My first question was, really? Why? I had just made my five year mark from my first diagnosis. One of my doctors had even released me the week before because I had done so well. This time God chose to answer my question as to why.
I was reading my Bible a couple of weeks ago and came across a section of scripture I've read often over the years. That day, however, it came to life for me in a way I had never experienced. Don't you love it when that happens?! It was like God had a spotlight shining on it and a big flashing arrow pointing to it so that I wouldn't miss it. Here's the scripture:
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
Paul goes on to say that he had been going through some particularly tough afflictions. He was going through something so bad that he was in fear of his life...
Verse 9-10 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
When I read that my heart rejoiced! I knew God was speaking to me. You see, there is one thing we cannot control. Well, two. Death and taxes. I can't control when I will die or what will kill me. Will it be cancer? A car wreck? Old age? (That topic's getting a little touchy since I will be 60! in a couple of weeks.) Influenza? A random accident? A blood clot? Who knows? Only God. He knows the days of my life as well as he knows every cell of my body. He knows the plans he has for me.
And a second battle with cancer was in his plan. His plan is that I go through this again so I can reach out to tell you my story. I apologize now if you get tired of hearing it, but it's what he has given me. By telling my story other women (and men) will be encouraged. He has comforted me....I am to comfort the people I meet.
Almost from the moment I received my diagnosis on February 20th a song started running through my thoughts. It's an old song. One of those seasonal hymns we sang in the old days when a missionary was coming to speak or when someone was leaving to go to Africa. (Because when I was little it seemed like anyone who was going to missions was going to Africa or somewhere equally as remote and far away.)
The song goes like this:
Verse 1
We've a story to tell to the nations,
That shall turn their hearts to the right,
A story of truth and mercy,
A story of peace and light,
A story of peace and light.
Refrain
For the darkness shall turn to dawning,
And the dawning to noonday bright;
And Christ's great kingdom shall come on earth,
The kingdom of love and light.
So, my friend, let me say this, it's all in how we look at it. Would I have chosen this journey again? Well, no. Yet, here I am. And I realize this journey will never be over, for it is the path chosen for me by my Savior. The path I am to walk to reflect his peace and light to the world around me. For only when you have walked through something that causes you to know you are not the one in control will you experience the peace and light. It is a peace that honestly and truthfully surpasses all understanding. I can't explain it to you. It's an experience that cannot be shared with words. I also know that I know that God's light is shining on my path. He gave me that promise in Psalm 119.
So, what are you going through? Cancer? Maybe not, but I can promise you that if you turn to the Lord and rely on him, he will comfort you.
In case you're wondering, this surgery hasn't been an awful recovery, but I've had some struggles. I developed a seroma and have had a couple weeks of trying to keep this fluid drained out of my body. I haven't felt well, and I have stayed on the couch a lot. Tomorrow I think we will finally take this drain out. And then the final stage of my healing can begin!
Now that I've said all that, what I want to leave with you is this. I want you to know I trust the Lord completely and he has comforted me in beautiful and glorious ways over the last couple of months. He has heard your prayers. He has held my hand when things weren't going like I wanted them to go. I want you to know my hope is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth. There is nothing I can do to change my situation. I can't undo the cancer. For today, though, I choose to live the best life I can, even in the hardest of times. I rely on God, because I can't do anything about it even if I tried.
Finally, I want you to know this, I give him glory for giving me another chance to say, "Thank you, God, for choosing me."
Thursday, February 14, 2019
When Life Turns Upside Down
About three weeks ago I pulled out my journal and started to write. I didn't write much. It was a day when I was tired and not feeling too well. As it turns out the notes I made were written on the wrong side of the page and upside down. As I was looking for the ribbon marker attached at the top to mark my page and close the book, I had to giggle. I had totally flipped! Perhaps in more ways than one.
Some days life is like that. We have big plans, as I did for that day, but we wake up feeling bad or something unplanned crops up and we find things all topsy-turvy. To be honest, I spend a lot of days that way, just doing what has to be done and leaving all my well thought out plans for another day.
Here's the thing. The next day when I wrote in my journal, I started at the correct spot on the correct page at the correct top. It was my tomorrow - my new day. We say it so much I fear it has or might become cliché, but it is so beautifully true. His (God's) mercies are new every morning! Let's remind ourselves of the entire verse:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23) As Matthew Henry stated, "Bad as things are, it is owing to the mercy of God that they are not worse."
Can I get an AMEN?!?!
So, friend, if your world is upside down to the point you are writing on the wrong page on the wrong side at the wrong top, remind yourself as the prophet did so many years ago and never lose hope, God's love is faithful and true. No matter how bad things get, His love will NEVER end. Oh, and that word mercy - well it simply means compassion, tender love. God loves you...today...and tomorrow! If no one else does, HE cares. Great is his faithfulness!
Friday, January 18, 2019
Thankful for the Reminder
So, I haven't posted since August. And it's been a crazy few months. I've had several ideas and thoughts I wanted to share with you, but, for whatever reason, I just never did. However, today I need to share with you.
On Sunday I will have been surviving cancer for five years. Five years! That's a big deal. A milestone. The year survivors look forward to. I completed my treatments in September, but I began surviving in January. We will have another celebration when September comes! I am so thankful and happy to be at this point. It's not been easy, but I had such wonderful people who got me through. God surrounded me with people who encouraged me in so many ways. If you sent me a card, I still have it - with the date I received it written on the back. They are in a box on my closet shelf. I will keep them forever. (More on one particular group of friends later.) There are things about me that will never be the same as they were before cancer. I will always wonder when I feel a new pain. I will always dread this time of year when I am going to get my mammogram. I will probably always be a little more tired - or we could blame that on my upcoming 60th birthday! (Oh my goodness! How did I get to be 60??) I will always have a different view of what really is important during my day.
Over the last few days as I have been looking ahead to doctor visits and checkups and the ever-so-enjoyable mammogram, which, by the way is even less enjoyable when they are compressing scar tissue left from the surgery and radiation, I face the what-ifs. What if they didn't get it all? What if it comes back? What if my mammogram shows something? They are questions we face when we have had our bodies invaded by this horrible disease. I should tell you, though, that last year I got the same standard form letter as normal ladies who have a normal mammogram and it felt wonderful to get something so impersonal! AND! And my doctor told me she would just see me once a year on the day I have my mammogram so I don't have to worry about it until a letter comes in the mail. How sweet is that!?!?
But God.
Oh, there is so much I want to tell you! God has been so gracious to me this week. I'll try to keep it short, but no promises. Where do I start? Let's just start with Monday, but to do that we must look back to Sunday. At our small group meeting on Sunday we were asked to share a prayer request close to our hearts. I expressed my feelings about this time of year and asked for prayer for continued healing for myself and healing for someone close to me going through treatment. On Monday I knew my friends were praying. I had a peace that had been missing. God was reminding me that He is close and knows every detail of my life. I think it was on Tuesday when I was doing my devotion that all the scripture I turned to was a gentle yet firm reminder from God that He hasn't forgotten me. On Wednesday I saw the NP who will examine me next Wednesday in the hallway at Memorial Hospital and she greeted me with a huge smile and a hug. Later that day I found that one of my favorite authors does a weekly fifteen minute FB Live devotion. Guess what. This week she was speaking on fear. Thursday, God gave me a renewed confidence and a reminder that I simply need to believe Him.
Then we come to today. Five years ago I was working with my beautiful GES family when I got my devastating news. They lifted me up and stood by me through that second half of the school year while I was on chemo. (There were many others in my life who loved and supported me too, but these were the people I was with for at least eight hours of the day.) I don't go visit the school often since I retired. I, honestly, stay pretty busy. So, since I wasn't aware of any reason in my life to just randomly up and go to GES today, God sent a friend all the way from California to get me there. I met her the first year I worked in the office. We spent that summer on the phone as she and her husband were getting ready to move here. I looked forward to her calls and questions, and when they arrived, it was a joy to get to know her family. They moved back to California many years ago, but she had an opportunity to come east this week so she called me and said she wanted to go see the new school. I worked it out for us to go. We did that today.
Folks, Graysville Elementary may be in a impressively big, new, modern facility with state-of-the-art everything and you may not have to trudge up a hill to the front door and be so out of breath you can't tell the receptionist what you are there for once you get inside, but those people haven't changed. Everyone I talked to asked me how I am doing, meaning am I still kicking cancer's butt. They rejoiced with me when I told them I am well and looking forward to my celebration on Sunday. They hugged me and loved me. I so desperately needed that today. I needed a reminder that I am not alone nor am I forgotten.
On January 20, 2014, I went for a routine mammogram. The same girl had done mine for years, so when she got a strong look of concern and sent me straight for an ultrasound, I knew. The gal who did the ultrasound wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye. When she told me the radiologist would call me at 3:00 that afternoon, I knew. I just knew. I went home and told my husband, "I have cancer." From there it was a whirlwind of appointments, and twenty-six days later I got my port and started chemo. It was Valentine's Day. (It would have been sooner, but that was the year of the ice storms that shut down the city.)
I have been surviving cancer for five years. I had my nails painted bright pink today to celebrate. I may go tomorrow and buy a new pink outfit to wear to church Sunday. I just might get a tattoo Sunday - still thinking about it. I believe God led me through my cancer journey to give me a new outlook on life and to encourage others who may have to take the journey. There are more and more people on this road. Within the last few months four people very close to me have been diagnosed. One I found out about a few short weeks ago. One I just heard about yesterday. One was my own mother. (Who, by the way, finished her treatment yesterday and is encouraged by her doctors with a positive outlook.)
Today, friend, I want to encourage you to believe God. Believe He can do a big work in your life. Your journey may not be down the cancer road, still He walks with you. We see in the Bible that God reminds the Israelites to look back and remember what He brought them through and to tell about it. We can't forget. We can't stop giving Him the glory He so richly deserves. Tell someone about your journey with God today. Let Him remind you how far you have come. Believe Him, for He cares for you and He will carry your through.
My verse for my cancer journey was Matthew 9:28. The two blind me had been following Jesus and crying out for healing. Jesus looked at them and said, "Do you believe I am able to do this?" Their simple answer was, "Yes, Lord." I believe. Oh I believe! And I am so thankful for the reminder of all He has done for me.
On Sunday I will have been surviving cancer for five years. Five years! That's a big deal. A milestone. The year survivors look forward to. I completed my treatments in September, but I began surviving in January. We will have another celebration when September comes! I am so thankful and happy to be at this point. It's not been easy, but I had such wonderful people who got me through. God surrounded me with people who encouraged me in so many ways. If you sent me a card, I still have it - with the date I received it written on the back. They are in a box on my closet shelf. I will keep them forever. (More on one particular group of friends later.) There are things about me that will never be the same as they were before cancer. I will always wonder when I feel a new pain. I will always dread this time of year when I am going to get my mammogram. I will probably always be a little more tired - or we could blame that on my upcoming 60th birthday! (Oh my goodness! How did I get to be 60??) I will always have a different view of what really is important during my day.
Over the last few days as I have been looking ahead to doctor visits and checkups and the ever-so-enjoyable mammogram, which, by the way is even less enjoyable when they are compressing scar tissue left from the surgery and radiation, I face the what-ifs. What if they didn't get it all? What if it comes back? What if my mammogram shows something? They are questions we face when we have had our bodies invaded by this horrible disease. I should tell you, though, that last year I got the same standard form letter as normal ladies who have a normal mammogram and it felt wonderful to get something so impersonal! AND! And my doctor told me she would just see me once a year on the day I have my mammogram so I don't have to worry about it until a letter comes in the mail. How sweet is that!?!?
But God.
Oh, there is so much I want to tell you! God has been so gracious to me this week. I'll try to keep it short, but no promises. Where do I start? Let's just start with Monday, but to do that we must look back to Sunday. At our small group meeting on Sunday we were asked to share a prayer request close to our hearts. I expressed my feelings about this time of year and asked for prayer for continued healing for myself and healing for someone close to me going through treatment. On Monday I knew my friends were praying. I had a peace that had been missing. God was reminding me that He is close and knows every detail of my life. I think it was on Tuesday when I was doing my devotion that all the scripture I turned to was a gentle yet firm reminder from God that He hasn't forgotten me. On Wednesday I saw the NP who will examine me next Wednesday in the hallway at Memorial Hospital and she greeted me with a huge smile and a hug. Later that day I found that one of my favorite authors does a weekly fifteen minute FB Live devotion. Guess what. This week she was speaking on fear. Thursday, God gave me a renewed confidence and a reminder that I simply need to believe Him.
Then we come to today. Five years ago I was working with my beautiful GES family when I got my devastating news. They lifted me up and stood by me through that second half of the school year while I was on chemo. (There were many others in my life who loved and supported me too, but these were the people I was with for at least eight hours of the day.) I don't go visit the school often since I retired. I, honestly, stay pretty busy. So, since I wasn't aware of any reason in my life to just randomly up and go to GES today, God sent a friend all the way from California to get me there. I met her the first year I worked in the office. We spent that summer on the phone as she and her husband were getting ready to move here. I looked forward to her calls and questions, and when they arrived, it was a joy to get to know her family. They moved back to California many years ago, but she had an opportunity to come east this week so she called me and said she wanted to go see the new school. I worked it out for us to go. We did that today.
Folks, Graysville Elementary may be in a impressively big, new, modern facility with state-of-the-art everything and you may not have to trudge up a hill to the front door and be so out of breath you can't tell the receptionist what you are there for once you get inside, but those people haven't changed. Everyone I talked to asked me how I am doing, meaning am I still kicking cancer's butt. They rejoiced with me when I told them I am well and looking forward to my celebration on Sunday. They hugged me and loved me. I so desperately needed that today. I needed a reminder that I am not alone nor am I forgotten.
On January 20, 2014, I went for a routine mammogram. The same girl had done mine for years, so when she got a strong look of concern and sent me straight for an ultrasound, I knew. The gal who did the ultrasound wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye. When she told me the radiologist would call me at 3:00 that afternoon, I knew. I just knew. I went home and told my husband, "I have cancer." From there it was a whirlwind of appointments, and twenty-six days later I got my port and started chemo. It was Valentine's Day. (It would have been sooner, but that was the year of the ice storms that shut down the city.)
I have been surviving cancer for five years. I had my nails painted bright pink today to celebrate. I may go tomorrow and buy a new pink outfit to wear to church Sunday. I just might get a tattoo Sunday - still thinking about it. I believe God led me through my cancer journey to give me a new outlook on life and to encourage others who may have to take the journey. There are more and more people on this road. Within the last few months four people very close to me have been diagnosed. One I found out about a few short weeks ago. One I just heard about yesterday. One was my own mother. (Who, by the way, finished her treatment yesterday and is encouraged by her doctors with a positive outlook.)
Today, friend, I want to encourage you to believe God. Believe He can do a big work in your life. Your journey may not be down the cancer road, still He walks with you. We see in the Bible that God reminds the Israelites to look back and remember what He brought them through and to tell about it. We can't forget. We can't stop giving Him the glory He so richly deserves. Tell someone about your journey with God today. Let Him remind you how far you have come. Believe Him, for He cares for you and He will carry your through.
My verse for my cancer journey was Matthew 9:28. The two blind me had been following Jesus and crying out for healing. Jesus looked at them and said, "Do you believe I am able to do this?" Their simple answer was, "Yes, Lord." I believe. Oh I believe! And I am so thankful for the reminder of all He has done for me.
Thursday, August 23, 2018
When God Calls You Out
Imagine yourself floating lazily down a calm and peaceful river. The summer sun is still hot. The promise of autumn is in the air. There's a little chill to the water now, perfectly complementing the hot sun. The cicadas are singing their song. The sky is perfectly blue, and just like you on the water, the fluffy white clouds are gently moving across the sky.
Then come the rapids. You have to be alert and aware. You can't just lie back and ignore them or you may end up in a dire situation.
So it is with life. We get comfortable. Life is good. As the song says, "everything's going my way." We do it in our walk with Christ. We get up and go to church. But are we serving the Lord in the way He intended? I heard a convicting quote on the radio this week. It went something like this: You have to be responsible to do the task God has given you.
So what has He given you? That's a question only you can answer after you spend some time allowing God to shine His light into (what you think are) the hidden recesses of your heart. He's been doing that for me, and daily the wattage gets brighter and brighter - blinding, in fact! I'm at the point now where I feel like I'm standing in a spotlight as God reveals His truth and shows me His way.
I still feel inadequate for some of this stuff. The truth is, there is always going to be someone better at something than I am or you are. That isn't the point. The point is, God has given me this task. So I will do it. I can procrastinate. I can use all the delay tactics I have learned throughout life. You know, like a kid at bed time - I need a glass of water...I'm hungry....I need to use the restroom....Read me a story...There's a monster under my bed...excuses. Simply and explicitly, EXCUSES!
So, friends, as I encourage you to accept the responsibility for the task God has given you, you can encourage me. Specifically, I ask you to pray. Pray for me to have the confidence which we learned earlier this week is not in myself, but in what God can do through me. I'll be praying the same for you.
Then come the rapids. You have to be alert and aware. You can't just lie back and ignore them or you may end up in a dire situation.
So it is with life. We get comfortable. Life is good. As the song says, "everything's going my way." We do it in our walk with Christ. We get up and go to church. But are we serving the Lord in the way He intended? I heard a convicting quote on the radio this week. It went something like this: You have to be responsible to do the task God has given you.
So what has He given you? That's a question only you can answer after you spend some time allowing God to shine His light into (what you think are) the hidden recesses of your heart. He's been doing that for me, and daily the wattage gets brighter and brighter - blinding, in fact! I'm at the point now where I feel like I'm standing in a spotlight as God reveals His truth and shows me His way.
I still feel inadequate for some of this stuff. The truth is, there is always going to be someone better at something than I am or you are. That isn't the point. The point is, God has given me this task. So I will do it. I can procrastinate. I can use all the delay tactics I have learned throughout life. You know, like a kid at bed time - I need a glass of water...I'm hungry....I need to use the restroom....Read me a story...There's a monster under my bed...excuses. Simply and explicitly, EXCUSES!
So, friends, as I encourage you to accept the responsibility for the task God has given you, you can encourage me. Specifically, I ask you to pray. Pray for me to have the confidence which we learned earlier this week is not in myself, but in what God can do through me. I'll be praying the same for you.
Monday, August 20, 2018
What Can I Do?
I may have mentioned before the devotion book I bought for this year. I wanted something with a short, one page only, bit of encouragement and Bible verse to support the writing. So I took myself to the local Christian bookstore and started looking. There were classics and mega-popular authors to choose from. There were some that were overly simplified. Some were specifically for moms of toddlers or teens. Some were for singles. Some for widows. There were some that just didn't grab me, you know? And there was this book. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover (even though it is so pretty!), so I opened the pages. I thumbed through and read snippets here and there. This book grabbed me. It seemed perfect. Just what I was looking for. I think it is safe to say God had these women write this book just for me. Thanks, ladies!
There have been many pages that struck my heart strings this year. Many times when I felt the Holy Spirit pouring over me either comfort, conviction, or the encouragement I was looking for. Then there was that day last week. I shared this quote as a FB post, but I want to share about it with you here.
"You don't have to have confidence in what you can do - only in what He can accomplish through you." It goes on to say, "What do you feel your purpose is? Open your heart and mind to a limitless God. Believe, deep in your heart, the fullness of His limitless capability for you. Pray on that, take steps, and watch Him fulfill your meaningful purpose." (A Little God Time for Women, published by BroadStreet Publishing)
What can I do? Not much. I can waste time like no other. I am a good cook if we ever stay home long enough to have a meal there. I can trip over air or a stone and fly through the air like Wonder Woman before I land hard and hurt myself. I can get involved in a show and watch it for too long. I can struggle making this list...even though I am pretty good at making lists.
What does God want me to do? Yeah, I know, that stings. Mostly because He calls us to do things we think are impossible. Moses couldn't speak well, and Noah needed an ark, why? David was just a kid when he faced his giant. Mary, well, she was a virgin. And then there is me. And there is you. We must seek God's face. What passion has he placed in your heart? I know mine. You're reading it now.
I long to encourage people in their walk with Christ. Satan reminds me daily of my failures and convinces me that because of them, my words are useless. WRONG! It is because I'm a failure I can encourage you. It is because I feel so useless that God can use me. It is because God has given you that passion you should step up and DO IT!
This blog is not an accident. I remember that first day so vividly. Encouraged by others, I clicked the button. Encouraged by others, I began to share my heart. Facing cancer, it became a convenient place to share my experiences. Then the whispers came - you have nothing to share, nothing to give, nothing of value that could possibly help anyone. You don't have time, you messed up again, you can't do this.
Over the past year I have faced attacks straight from the mouths of people I trusted. Things were said and done that broke my heart - and my spirit. Satan used the hateful insults to weaken me, reminding me of them again and again. I caved in to the lies whispered in the darkness, convinced I had been fooling myself, God didn't really want me, I was of no use, I couldn't do anything right.
That's right, I can't. But God can. So, since He has given me the passion to write and encourage you - even through my failures - I will. Honestly? I don't have much confidence in what I can do. But I believe God can use me if I am willing to obey.
Today, I want to encourage YOU to trust the Lord and make yourself available. This post may be a little long. You need to know that I was driven to open the page several days ago and write ---- having no idea what I would say. I put it off until today, and still had no idea what I would say. It's a turning point for me.
So, here you are, reading some raw and honest truth from my heart. Won't you take a little time today to be still, and KNOW that He is God. Listen carefully to the truths He speaks over you...and refuse to listen to the whispers of your enemy. Maybe you are like me and know your purpose but have been avoiding it. Avoid no longer, my sister! Psalm 56:9 says, "This I know, that God is for me!" Praise the Lord!
There have been many pages that struck my heart strings this year. Many times when I felt the Holy Spirit pouring over me either comfort, conviction, or the encouragement I was looking for. Then there was that day last week. I shared this quote as a FB post, but I want to share about it with you here.
"You don't have to have confidence in what you can do - only in what He can accomplish through you." It goes on to say, "What do you feel your purpose is? Open your heart and mind to a limitless God. Believe, deep in your heart, the fullness of His limitless capability for you. Pray on that, take steps, and watch Him fulfill your meaningful purpose." (A Little God Time for Women, published by BroadStreet Publishing)
What can I do? Not much. I can waste time like no other. I am a good cook if we ever stay home long enough to have a meal there. I can trip over air or a stone and fly through the air like Wonder Woman before I land hard and hurt myself. I can get involved in a show and watch it for too long. I can struggle making this list...even though I am pretty good at making lists.
What does God want me to do? Yeah, I know, that stings. Mostly because He calls us to do things we think are impossible. Moses couldn't speak well, and Noah needed an ark, why? David was just a kid when he faced his giant. Mary, well, she was a virgin. And then there is me. And there is you. We must seek God's face. What passion has he placed in your heart? I know mine. You're reading it now.
I long to encourage people in their walk with Christ. Satan reminds me daily of my failures and convinces me that because of them, my words are useless. WRONG! It is because I'm a failure I can encourage you. It is because I feel so useless that God can use me. It is because God has given you that passion you should step up and DO IT!
This blog is not an accident. I remember that first day so vividly. Encouraged by others, I clicked the button. Encouraged by others, I began to share my heart. Facing cancer, it became a convenient place to share my experiences. Then the whispers came - you have nothing to share, nothing to give, nothing of value that could possibly help anyone. You don't have time, you messed up again, you can't do this.
Over the past year I have faced attacks straight from the mouths of people I trusted. Things were said and done that broke my heart - and my spirit. Satan used the hateful insults to weaken me, reminding me of them again and again. I caved in to the lies whispered in the darkness, convinced I had been fooling myself, God didn't really want me, I was of no use, I couldn't do anything right.
That's right, I can't. But God can. So, since He has given me the passion to write and encourage you - even through my failures - I will. Honestly? I don't have much confidence in what I can do. But I believe God can use me if I am willing to obey.
Today, I want to encourage YOU to trust the Lord and make yourself available. This post may be a little long. You need to know that I was driven to open the page several days ago and write ---- having no idea what I would say. I put it off until today, and still had no idea what I would say. It's a turning point for me.
So, here you are, reading some raw and honest truth from my heart. Won't you take a little time today to be still, and KNOW that He is God. Listen carefully to the truths He speaks over you...and refuse to listen to the whispers of your enemy. Maybe you are like me and know your purpose but have been avoiding it. Avoid no longer, my sister! Psalm 56:9 says, "This I know, that God is for me!" Praise the Lord!
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
Dry and Weary
I think there is a song that goes something like this, In a dry and weary land, You are the water, You are the water...
I may have it all wrong. If I do, I'll just write the song... Because I've been in the desert for too long. You know the feeling of choking you have when you are SO thirsty - when your nose AND throat are dry and your tongue feels ten sizes bigger than normal...? That's the way my life has felt lately. In fact, to be brutally honest, just the other day I was so dry I could only sit before the Lord with my head in my hands. I couldn't pray. I couldn't cry. I couldn't sing. I could only sit.
I started out like the Psalmist in Psalm 77:4 - You hold my eyelids open: I am so troubled that I cannot speak. Truly, it was all I could do just to sit in His presence, but I knew I must. It was clear to me this was a turning point. As I sat there, His love rushed over me. It was like the dam upstream began with a series of cracks before bursting open. The healing waters of the love of God refreshed my dry soul, my cracked and hurting heart. My parched lips began to sing. My broken heart began to heal. You know that flood waters can be dangerous, right? Strangely enough, in this flood I was able to stand taller, stronger, and completely balanced. My feet weren't sinking in mud or being swept out from under me. I was on solid ground.
I picked up my Bible and began to read. Scriptures JUMPED off the page! Beautiful things like this:
Isaiah 43: 18-19 Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing and it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 42: 8-9 I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. Behold the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.
And this:
Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
I honestly had gotten to the point of feeling I had no words, just like the scripture I quoted above. I had no words to converse. To teach. To write. To encourage. I was dried up and cracking like the ground in a long drought. Psalm 107:9 says, He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. You see,
Only Jesus can satisfy your soul!
Only He can change your heart and make you whole;
He'll give you peace you never knew,
sweet love and joy and heaven too,
for only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
(Lanny Wolfe)
As Jesus poured over me and His healing water refreshed my aching soul, He has given me direction. I am so excited about the future! He has plans for me and continues to reveal them to me daily. My desert has turned into an oasis. Psalm 107:35 - He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.
So, may I encourage you? If you are feeling alone and dried up, just sit down, put your head in your hands and let God pour over you. Let Him satisfy your soul.
I may have it all wrong. If I do, I'll just write the song... Because I've been in the desert for too long. You know the feeling of choking you have when you are SO thirsty - when your nose AND throat are dry and your tongue feels ten sizes bigger than normal...? That's the way my life has felt lately. In fact, to be brutally honest, just the other day I was so dry I could only sit before the Lord with my head in my hands. I couldn't pray. I couldn't cry. I couldn't sing. I could only sit.
I started out like the Psalmist in Psalm 77:4 - You hold my eyelids open: I am so troubled that I cannot speak. Truly, it was all I could do just to sit in His presence, but I knew I must. It was clear to me this was a turning point. As I sat there, His love rushed over me. It was like the dam upstream began with a series of cracks before bursting open. The healing waters of the love of God refreshed my dry soul, my cracked and hurting heart. My parched lips began to sing. My broken heart began to heal. You know that flood waters can be dangerous, right? Strangely enough, in this flood I was able to stand taller, stronger, and completely balanced. My feet weren't sinking in mud or being swept out from under me. I was on solid ground.
I picked up my Bible and began to read. Scriptures JUMPED off the page! Beautiful things like this:
Isaiah 43: 18-19 Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing and it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 42: 8-9 I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. Behold the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.
And this:
Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
I honestly had gotten to the point of feeling I had no words, just like the scripture I quoted above. I had no words to converse. To teach. To write. To encourage. I was dried up and cracking like the ground in a long drought. Psalm 107:9 says, He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. You see,
Only Jesus can satisfy your soul!
Only He can change your heart and make you whole;
He'll give you peace you never knew,
sweet love and joy and heaven too,
for only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
(Lanny Wolfe)
As Jesus poured over me and His healing water refreshed my aching soul, He has given me direction. I am so excited about the future! He has plans for me and continues to reveal them to me daily. My desert has turned into an oasis. Psalm 107:35 - He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.
So, may I encourage you? If you are feeling alone and dried up, just sit down, put your head in your hands and let God pour over you. Let Him satisfy your soul.
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