A Modern Day Proverb

At my church we are studying the Proverbs on Wednesday nights.  Actually, our pastor has challenged us over the years to read the chapter in Proverbs that corresponds with the day of the month.  It's a good way to stay in the Word and consistently study how the Lord would have you live.  One Wednesday night recently as he was teaching, he gave me a modern day proverb to blog on.  So, here goes:

"I stop to think before I speak so I won't have to worry afterward what I said before."

Hmmmm.  Just thinking about it could inspire me to never speak another word.  That's not likely to happen, though!  If only I had always stopped to think before I spoke.  I've gotten better about it over the years.  I don't openly, forcefully express my opinions (too much) anymore.  I try to think before I speak, and if I ever completely achieve that I will certainly let you know!  In the meantime, let's think about what our relationships and ministries would look like if we did.
    I have noticed that people are anxious to talk about nothing particularly important.  It is easy to say something that hurts another person when we just talk for the sake of talking.  Sometimes when we are letting words pour from our mouths with no thought behind them we happen upon a subject that is difficult for a person who is listening to us.  Once a friend asked me what I thought about a particular issue.  I answered honestly based on my own experience, which was quite opposite from what she had been through.  Though my opinion wouldn't change about the topic we discussed, I would have used kinder, gentler words to express my thoughts had I know where her question had been based.  
     My point is this - when someone asks me what I think about something specific, I now pause to consider why the question has been raised or to ask why she is asking such a question.  Considering the other person should influence the way I respond, but does not have to change my mind.  So now I stop to think more often before I speak.  Here are some examples:
     I know a man who lost his job due to the downsizing of his company in the current economy.  That was over a year ago.  Today he cannot find a job doing what he was doing.  He's not lazy.  He's not delinquent.  He's a smart, honest, professional man who happened upon a great job one day and was happy to take it.  The thing is, normally that position requires a specific college degree which he does not hold.  So now, with the job market so small and competitive, he is not able to get another job in the same position doing what he has been trained to do.  That's a tough situation.  How would he feel if he walked up to a group of people who were talking about the lazy bums in the world who just need to get out and get a job?  He's trying to find one.  However, he finds himself in that over-qualified/under-qualified limbo.  Hopefully very soon he will be employed.
     Here's a story that happened to me after my first daughter was stillborn.  I was shopping with a friend who was pregnant and looking to make curtains for her nursery.  We were at the fabric store.  It was just a few weeks after my tragedy.  As the clerk cut the fabric the three of us chatted about the nursery decorations.  The lady looked at me and said something like, "When are you going to have children?"  Ummmm.  Bad timing. So, I said, "I had a baby just a few weeks ago.  She died."  Ummmm.  Bad response on my part, but is proves the proverb.  
     We Christians should be sensitive to the needs, hurts, and problems of everyone we meet.  We should think about how our words might impact someone whether we are speaking directly to them or if they are simply in ear-shot.  So, I challenge you this week to think before you speak.  Don't be the person who is just hurling daggers haphazardly around through the comments you make or the thoughts you express.  Too many people are hurting in the world today.  As Christians we are called to love. 
    
Here's some scripture:

     A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calls for blows.  A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.  The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body.  Proverbs 18:6-8

Death and life are the power of the tongue.  Proverbs 18:21

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.  Proverbs 15:1-2

I want to be clear on one thing. Stand on the Word of God. You do not have to agree with something, nor should you if it is contrary to God's Word. This is not about being passive. It is about controlling your tongue, which can build up or destroy.  The old saying I used to chant as a child is not true!  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  Once you have tossed the words that cause deep hurt, it takes that hurt a long time to heal.  Words can never be retrieved, so be careful what you say. 

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned wtih salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.  Colossians 4:5   

If I get this perfected, I will be announcing it to the world!  In the meantime, I'm going to work at stopping to think before I speak. 

Vicki

Walking On

Friends, I am driven to write this morning, and really don't know what I am going to write about.  I can tell you this, wherever the Lord is leading me, I want to go there!  Lately it seems that everything I read or listen to speaks to moving on.  Are you like me?  I grab hold of something and don't want to let go - and that's not always a good thing! 
     This morning the word going through my thoughts is change.  We women are guilty of using that word a lot - I'm going to change the way I eat.  I am going to get healthy and start working out.  I'm going to change my hair - color, cut, style.  I am going to change and become something different.  That's not the change I am talking about here.  Let's talk about changing to be who God has created us to be.  Most of us probably DO need to change the way we eat and start working out, but when Jesus called His disciples, he simply said, "Come, follow me."  He didn't say, "Lose fifteen pounds so I can use you." Neither did He say, "You really need a makeover.  New hair, new makeup, new clothes....then I can send you out to do my work."  
     What do we need to change?  Those of you who know me may or may not know about my tattoo. In case you don't, I have a pretty butterfly on the top of my left foot.  I love using the butterfly to speak about what God has done in my life.  He literally transformed me.  Changed me from living a dark, defeated life to living a life of hope.  When I tell the story I often say, "God changed me from a worm crawling through the dirt to a beautiful creature full of color and grace."  The question I have to ask today is: am I really walking an undefeated path of life?  I don't think so. 
     Sometimes I get bogged down and stuck in defeat.  It's easy to look back and remember what it is I used to do, how I used to think, or choices I consistently made.  I know the Bible says Satan is prowling around looking for ways to attack me and pointing out my past is an easy way to cause me pain.  I also know I have a defense, and that is Jesus!  He has given me armour to wear so that I can stand against the fiery darts that Satan hurls at me.  You see?  I really do need to change what I'm wearing and put on my armour every day!  Am I carrying a chip on my shoulder or am I carrying my shield of faith to stop the fiery darts that Satan hurls my way?  (Look up the armour of God in your Bible in Ephesians, chapter 6.)   
     Along with that wonderful armour, isn't it equally wonderful that we are promised a fresh start every day?  The Bible tells us that God's mercies are new every morning!  Now, that should make you shout!!  When this day ends and I look back over it, I will realize I didn't get everything just right.  I wasn't as kind as I really should have been.  I wasted time that I could have been helping a friend or talking to a shut-in on the phone.  I didn't speak out for my savior.  Whatever it is that makes you feel like a failure, it's ok.  Tomorrow really IS a new day!  Glory Hallelujah! 
     Walking on, I choose to follow the Lord.  Where will He lead me?  I don't know.  What will He call on me to do?  I don't know.  What I do know is I am going where He leads.  Currently I am reading a book about two college students who left school and lived on the streets for five months.  Right here in America they gave up everything, literally, to experience the reality of homelessness.  The more I read the more I am forced to examine my own heart.  How far am I willing to go with Jesus?  Is He going to tell me to live on the streets of Chattanooga for five months?  I don't think so.  What will I do if He does?  I don't know!  Maybe a better question is will I be willing to look straight in the eyes of the next homeless person I pass and say a kind word?   
     My friends, I want to encourage you today.  Walk on with Jesus.  The road you travel will be full of new and exciting things if you are willing to look around and fully experience the journey.  It's time to let go of those things we consistently hold onto that keep us bogged down and hinder us from living as God intends for us to.  Will you go?