A Modern Day Proverb

At my church we are studying the Proverbs on Wednesday nights.  Actually, our pastor has challenged us over the years to read the chapter in Proverbs that corresponds with the day of the month.  It's a good way to stay in the Word and consistently study how the Lord would have you live.  One Wednesday night recently as he was teaching, he gave me a modern day proverb to blog on.  So, here goes:

"I stop to think before I speak so I won't have to worry afterward what I said before."

Hmmmm.  Just thinking about it could inspire me to never speak another word.  That's not likely to happen, though!  If only I had always stopped to think before I spoke.  I've gotten better about it over the years.  I don't openly, forcefully express my opinions (too much) anymore.  I try to think before I speak, and if I ever completely achieve that I will certainly let you know!  In the meantime, let's think about what our relationships and ministries would look like if we did.
    I have noticed that people are anxious to talk about nothing particularly important.  It is easy to say something that hurts another person when we just talk for the sake of talking.  Sometimes when we are letting words pour from our mouths with no thought behind them we happen upon a subject that is difficult for a person who is listening to us.  Once a friend asked me what I thought about a particular issue.  I answered honestly based on my own experience, which was quite opposite from what she had been through.  Though my opinion wouldn't change about the topic we discussed, I would have used kinder, gentler words to express my thoughts had I know where her question had been based.  
     My point is this - when someone asks me what I think about something specific, I now pause to consider why the question has been raised or to ask why she is asking such a question.  Considering the other person should influence the way I respond, but does not have to change my mind.  So now I stop to think more often before I speak.  Here are some examples:
     I know a man who lost his job due to the downsizing of his company in the current economy.  That was over a year ago.  Today he cannot find a job doing what he was doing.  He's not lazy.  He's not delinquent.  He's a smart, honest, professional man who happened upon a great job one day and was happy to take it.  The thing is, normally that position requires a specific college degree which he does not hold.  So now, with the job market so small and competitive, he is not able to get another job in the same position doing what he has been trained to do.  That's a tough situation.  How would he feel if he walked up to a group of people who were talking about the lazy bums in the world who just need to get out and get a job?  He's trying to find one.  However, he finds himself in that over-qualified/under-qualified limbo.  Hopefully very soon he will be employed.
     Here's a story that happened to me after my first daughter was stillborn.  I was shopping with a friend who was pregnant and looking to make curtains for her nursery.  We were at the fabric store.  It was just a few weeks after my tragedy.  As the clerk cut the fabric the three of us chatted about the nursery decorations.  The lady looked at me and said something like, "When are you going to have children?"  Ummmm.  Bad timing. So, I said, "I had a baby just a few weeks ago.  She died."  Ummmm.  Bad response on my part, but is proves the proverb.  
     We Christians should be sensitive to the needs, hurts, and problems of everyone we meet.  We should think about how our words might impact someone whether we are speaking directly to them or if they are simply in ear-shot.  So, I challenge you this week to think before you speak.  Don't be the person who is just hurling daggers haphazardly around through the comments you make or the thoughts you express.  Too many people are hurting in the world today.  As Christians we are called to love. 
    
Here's some scripture:

     A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calls for blows.  A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.  The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body.  Proverbs 18:6-8

Death and life are the power of the tongue.  Proverbs 18:21

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.  Proverbs 15:1-2

I want to be clear on one thing. Stand on the Word of God. You do not have to agree with something, nor should you if it is contrary to God's Word. This is not about being passive. It is about controlling your tongue, which can build up or destroy.  The old saying I used to chant as a child is not true!  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."  Once you have tossed the words that cause deep hurt, it takes that hurt a long time to heal.  Words can never be retrieved, so be careful what you say. 

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned wtih salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.  Colossians 4:5   

If I get this perfected, I will be announcing it to the world!  In the meantime, I'm going to work at stopping to think before I speak. 

Vicki