God's Got This

     So much has happened in just a few short weeks.   There is SO much to share, but I want to tell you about the day we got good news.  When this journey first began it seemed like the only news we got was bad news.  To be completely honest, it became frustrating and overwhelming.  Was God listening to our prayers? 
     One night as I was watching a Beth Moore DVD, the neon lights began flashing and the whistles started blowing.  God certainly got my attention.  She was speaking about the two blind men in Matthew 9.  The men had asked Jesus to heal them, but Jesus asked, "Do you believe I can do this?"  They replied, "Yes."  Then Jesus said, "According to your faith, be it done to you."  I heard him say to me, "Vicki, do you believe I can do this?"  The question was not about healing.  It was more than that.
     The question was more of, do you believe I've got this?  Do you believe I will carry you through this or do you think I just dropped you here randomly to suffer all alone?  I had been so wrapped up in fear of the unknown and dealing with the emotion of facing cancer, that my focus had shifted.  I needed to refocus and reaffirm my faith.  As soon as the DVD was over and my friends had left, I went to talk to my husband.  We read the scripture together and talked about it.  I had not been believing God. 
     We prayed together that night and expressed our faith and belief that God is in control of our lives, acknowledging that we believe he is especially in control of this roller coaster ride.  We simply prayed for good news.
     The next day I had an appointment to meet my oncologist for the first time.  As he asked questions and talked with his, he very casually made this statement, "It is overwhelmingly unlikely it has spread."  He said it almost as an afterthought.  But when he did, my heart sang for joy.  I glanced over at Connally and he looked at me.  We knew we had gotten our good news.  It was one of those looks you have that communicates so much after you have lived with a person for almost thirty years. 
     That very day a sweet friend who is also in a battle with cancer came by my office and left me a gift.  A purple bracelet.  You know, one of those silicon bands with words stamped into it.  It said, "God's Got This."  That is her mantra.  And it has become mine.  Twila Paris sang the song, "God is in control.  I believe that his children will not  be forsaken."  Yes, I believe that.  Yes, I believe God IS in control.  Yes, I believe GOD'S GOT THIS. 
     What does that mean?  It means that we are not promised tomorrow.  It means that for the last 53 years and eternity before, he knew.  He knew that on January 30, 2014, I would hear the words, "There is a cancer there."  He knew that I would take chemo to kill the bad cells growing inside my body.  He knew I would lose my hair, be unable to drink coffee, suffer through nausea and mouth sores, and be grouchy and tired. 
     He also knew that there was a band of people who would rally around with encouragement that defies description.  Between the gifts, cards, texts, messages, phone calls, and Facebook messages, I have no doubt that at any given minute of the day, there are many people praying for me... around the world! He has provided strength and good health.  He has given me the best doctors and nurses.  He has given me dear, dear friends who have walked this road and now hold up my arms when my strength fails.  He has poured out love in ways that you just have to experience to understand.   
     Finally, I want to share with you the words of an old song...
        
                                       He Will Carry You
               There is no problem too big
               God cannot solve it
               There is no mountain too tall
               God cannot move it

               There is no storm too dark
               God cannot calm it
               There is no sorrow too deep
               He cannot soothe it
 
               If He carries the weight of the world upon His shoulders
               I know my brother that He will carry you
               If He carries the weight of the world upon His shoulders
               I know my sister that He will carry you

               He said, "Come unto me all who are weary
               And I will give you rest
               (You can YouTube this and hear the Gaither's sing if you want.)

Yes, God's Got This.  He is carrying me through.  Psalm 5:11-12  But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you.  For you bless the righteous, O Lord; you cover him with favor as with a shield.