That Casting Crowns song has been going over and over in my mind lately. Actually, just one phrase: "And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for you are who you are." It's been appropriate for so many things that have been happening. It's so easy to praise God when things are smooth and moving along nicely, like sitting beside a peaceful creek on a summer day. I've learned a lot about praising Him in the storm, when the rains have been so heavy that the peaceful creek has become a raging, angry river.
Last week we got a call from the doctor to come in and discuss my mom's CT scan. It was a routine scan; there was no reason to expect further problems after her cancer almost three years ago. The scan was on Tuesday, they called on Wednesday, and we were to see the doctor on Thursday. I was really planning on this being a year of bliss and relaxation...the opposite of last year. Now this.
I sat convicted as the Lord asked me a most personal question, "Will you praise me in this storm?" The lines of the song began to play in my head. So I did. I praised him. Looking for the silver lining I leaned over to my mom as we waited and said, "Well, if you have to have chemo at least we already know everybody at Memorial."
The doc walked in the door of the room and apologized for alarming us. He doesn't believe there is anything to worry about. Showing us the films, he pointed to where there was supposed to be something. It wasn't there. There was no discoloration. The area was bright white (a good thing). I admit, I was relieved there was no major storm.
Still the song replayed in my mind and in my heart. God, what is it? What are you wanting from me? What do you want me to do? So, I am writing to tell you. To testify and praise His name. I've been through some other uncomfortable storms lately. I've been hurt. I've been tested and tried. I've been challenged for what I believe. I've been trying do follow the Lord, and sometimes it isn't easy. And the question comes again, "Will you praise me in this storm?"
In my Sunday School class we are studying a book that I find revolutionary. The title is Your Beautiful Purpose by Susie Larson. It truly is changing the way I look at myself, the way I see God's hand in my life, and my desire to be on adventure with him. In the book Susie tells a story about when her young son asked her why, if Satan doesn't know the future, does he know just when to attack us. She says that she prayed for wisdom and gave him an answer. She told him the story of Elisha and said Satan must see God sending the armies of heaven behind us and know that something big is about to happen so he turns his focus to us. The vision of horses and chariots of fire behind me as I step out to obey the Lord is powerful.
I was just searching my Bible for verses to share with you and found this verse and this note I had made. The verse is 2 Chronicles 20:12, "For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you." This is the note I made: 6-15-14 - No power to face cancer but my eyes are on Jesus! That was fifteen days before my last chemo treatment. Almost six months into my battle. Oh, but the 15th verse of that chapter says this, "...Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's...do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you."
Being on adventure with God is exciting, but it scares me to death. I don't want to be confronted about my faith. I'm afraid I won't have the right answers. You know, book, chapter, verse quotes. I'm not a good memorizer. Someone might disagree with me. Hilarious, really, that I worry about that because in the world we live in it is an absolute truth. If that happens, would I praise Him in that storm?
Can I be really honest with you? I think when the storms come it is a sign that we are doing something right. After all, why would Satan waste his fiery arrows in my direction if I am a safe place for him? By that I mean, if I am stagnant, going with the flow, nonthreatening to his mission, why bother fighting against me? I want to be the gal who has the horses and chariots of fire mounted behind her, ready to go into battle for the Lord. That also means that I would be the gal who gets Satan's attention and attack. I am ready to speak up, ready to write, ready to teach what I am learning. I believe I have a beautiful purpose. I believe you do too. We certainly do not have the power to face the vast army that is attacking us. And it's only getting worse. Living for Christ will become dangerous in not too many more days. I plan to keep my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith, remembering this isn't about me. It's about a battle much bigger and more important than my fears, feelings, or failures.
Let's move out, remembering the battle is not ours, and as we move out to fight, the Lord will be with us. The song goes on later in the verse to say, "No matter where I am....you've never left my side." Doesn't that make you want to shout?!!! Sometimes the storm may get fierce, but God is there, going before, standing behind, and always by your side. Will you praise Him in the storm?
Here's a link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5bLvVjJ4MA
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