Last Sunday I ran into a former student and his mother. She is such a sweet lady, always very friendly and kind. Her son is a good boy, quiet, never in trouble. I hadn't seen them in a couple of years.
As we laughed and talked, catching up on what life has been like since last we met, she asked how I am. I knew what she meant. The cancer. For, the last time I saw her was when I was still at war with that beast. I smiled, looked at her and said, "I am doing really well. Cancer free."
Oh, the smile that crossed her face!
But what she did after that was even better. She looked at her son and told him I don't have cancer anymore. And reminded him they had prayed for me. He remembered.
Take that in, people. Not only had my adult friend prayed for me, she had led her son to pray for me.
She is not alone. I have several other friends who I know specifically led their children to pray for me. I'm not talking the cursory comments of ya'll pray for Mrs. Million. I'm talking about people who sincerely led their young children to and in prayer.
As I looked at my husband and told him about a gift this momma had given me I began to think about other mommas whose children had brought me small gifts full of meaning and value. Things I treasure today.
What I treasure most, though, is knowing there are mommas out there teaching their kids to pray. Teaching them to care and love. Teaching them that people are important. Teaching them to share the love of Jesus.
Thank you, ladies. You know who you are. There is no better gift you can give your children than to teach them about that sweet hour of prayer. There is no better gift you could have ever given me.
Friday, November 4, 2016
Thursday, October 27, 2016
An Afterthought
So, this morning when I took Jack out, I looked to the east for the morning star. Instead of the brightness of that beautiful light, however, I only saw clouds.
Clouds obscuring what I expected to see. It was darker today than yesterday. The light was blocked.
What obscures your view of Christ? What is standing between you, hindering your relationship with the lover of your soul?
Sin. Simple as that. Sin. Pick your poison. Bitterness. Hatred. Unforgiveness. Gossip. That grudge you won't let go of....
My mug this morning has this scripture on it -
All things are possible to those who believe. Mark 9:23
Sometimes when life gets cloudy, we feel hopeless. Don't give up, my friend. Confess your sin and God will forgive you. Then the clouds that have blocked your path will clear away and you will be back to enjoying The Bright and Morning Star.
Have a good day! And enjoy your coffee!!
Clouds obscuring what I expected to see. It was darker today than yesterday. The light was blocked.
What obscures your view of Christ? What is standing between you, hindering your relationship with the lover of your soul?
Sin. Simple as that. Sin. Pick your poison. Bitterness. Hatred. Unforgiveness. Gossip. That grudge you won't let go of....
My mug this morning has this scripture on it -
All things are possible to those who believe. Mark 9:23
Sometimes when life gets cloudy, we feel hopeless. Don't give up, my friend. Confess your sin and God will forgive you. Then the clouds that have blocked your path will clear away and you will be back to enjoying The Bright and Morning Star.
Have a good day! And enjoy your coffee!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Straightening Out the Rabbit Trail
This morning as I was walking Jack, way before the sun peaked over the horizon, he sniffed out a rabbit trail. Now, the question needs to be asked, have you ever watched a rabbit dart across the yard? They don't go in a straight line. They zig and zag, constantly changing direction as they hop, hop, hop away from their perceived danger to a place they deem relatively safe. Often we see them zipping across the driveway from the field when we come home at night.
So, as Jack sniffed out his newfound adventure this morning, he was all over the place. Nose to the ground, he went this way and that trying to find his little furry friend.
As he played around, I looked up at the stars still bright in the very early morning sky. I watched an airplane way, way up there and wondered what type of adventures await the people aboard and where they might be going. I pulled my new warm, fuzzy robe a little tighter against the wind and looked toward the east.
And there it was. The morning star. Bright and beautiful. Where it always is. Steady and sure. Reliable. Marking the end of the darkness just before the sun brightens the day.
Jesus. Always right there. Exactly where He's always been. Bright and beautiful. Reliable. He marks the end of the darkness of my sin and brightens my life with the light of His truth.
Yet, here we are, darting around like a little bunnies. Hopping from one trail to the other. Perhaps we are trying to escape our perceived danger (sin) and constantly change direction because we are depending on our own selves and thinking we have to make our own way in this life. But we don't.
We have our Morning Star. Jesus uses the term in reference to himself. Revelation 22:16 - "I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star." One Native American site I read said this, "The morning star is a symbol of hope and guidance."
And here is our AhHa moment, people! Our hope is in Jesus and he guides us down the path of life. Proverbs 3:6 - In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
II Corinthians 1:10 - On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.
Psalm 119: 105 - Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Read your Bible, friend. Learn God's word. Put your trust in him and him alone. It's time we stopped running around this world like rabbits running from the danger of the night. Our hope is in Christ.
Ask yourself this question today:
If I was the only way someone was going to find Jesus, would they have to chase a detached, disrupted trail or would my life lead them directly to Christ? It's time to take the path He has prepared for you and get off the bunny trail.
So, as Jack sniffed out his newfound adventure this morning, he was all over the place. Nose to the ground, he went this way and that trying to find his little furry friend.
As he played around, I looked up at the stars still bright in the very early morning sky. I watched an airplane way, way up there and wondered what type of adventures await the people aboard and where they might be going. I pulled my new warm, fuzzy robe a little tighter against the wind and looked toward the east.
And there it was. The morning star. Bright and beautiful. Where it always is. Steady and sure. Reliable. Marking the end of the darkness just before the sun brightens the day.
Jesus. Always right there. Exactly where He's always been. Bright and beautiful. Reliable. He marks the end of the darkness of my sin and brightens my life with the light of His truth.
Yet, here we are, darting around like a little bunnies. Hopping from one trail to the other. Perhaps we are trying to escape our perceived danger (sin) and constantly change direction because we are depending on our own selves and thinking we have to make our own way in this life. But we don't.
We have our Morning Star. Jesus uses the term in reference to himself. Revelation 22:16 - "I am the root and the descendant of David, the bright morning star." One Native American site I read said this, "The morning star is a symbol of hope and guidance."
And here is our AhHa moment, people! Our hope is in Jesus and he guides us down the path of life. Proverbs 3:6 - In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
II Corinthians 1:10 - On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.
Psalm 119: 105 - Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Read your Bible, friend. Learn God's word. Put your trust in him and him alone. It's time we stopped running around this world like rabbits running from the danger of the night. Our hope is in Christ.
Ask yourself this question today:
If I was the only way someone was going to find Jesus, would they have to chase a detached, disrupted trail or would my life lead them directly to Christ? It's time to take the path He has prepared for you and get off the bunny trail.
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Planted by the Water
After the record drought this summer, the chatter has been whether we would have any colorful leaves this autumn. Mostly they seemed to be dying and falling to the ground. I was saddened to think we wouldn't get to enjoy the beauty that comes when summer yields to fall. My favorite time of year is when the trees display their vibrant beauty for us as we watch the scorching summer days fade away into sunny, cooler, refreshing days of autumn.
Well, summer isn't fading so quickly this year, is it? Today is October 18th and it has been HOT! I don't know if we broke a record, but I do know I got a little too much sun while I was working outside. I'm ready for cool weather! And bon fires. To roast marshmallows over. And hot cider. Boots. Jackets. And scarves. Oh well. Maybe soon.
Anyway, I digress. This is supposed to be about the beauty of the fall colors.
A couple of weeks ago I was returning home from my mother's house. As I came through the gap of the mountain and drove past the creek that runs beside the road, I noticed the trees near the water were absolutely stunning. The reds were brilliant. The yellows so bright and cheerful. The oranges glistened in the sunlight.
The only trees I saw that had those gorgeous colors were right there beside the water. And it got me thinking.
Aren't the colors of our lives brighter when we are soaking up the Living Water? When we wander away and find ourselves in a desert place, we are dry and brittle. Our leaves die and fall away before they can show the glory they were intended for.
We must be aware of and maintain our relationship with the Lord. We need to spend time with Him daily. Reading his Word. Sitting quietly at His feet. Listening to His soft, still voice lovingly guiding us along life's journey. We need to sing praises to His name and rejoice in His presence.
Then, and only then, we will reflect His glory, displaying the beauty that glorifies our God. By living close to His side, our roots grow deep and soak up the Living Water. Drinking it in, we have everything we need to grow and become who He created us to be.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV)
Well, summer isn't fading so quickly this year, is it? Today is October 18th and it has been HOT! I don't know if we broke a record, but I do know I got a little too much sun while I was working outside. I'm ready for cool weather! And bon fires. To roast marshmallows over. And hot cider. Boots. Jackets. And scarves. Oh well. Maybe soon.
Anyway, I digress. This is supposed to be about the beauty of the fall colors.
A couple of weeks ago I was returning home from my mother's house. As I came through the gap of the mountain and drove past the creek that runs beside the road, I noticed the trees near the water were absolutely stunning. The reds were brilliant. The yellows so bright and cheerful. The oranges glistened in the sunlight.
The only trees I saw that had those gorgeous colors were right there beside the water. And it got me thinking.
Aren't the colors of our lives brighter when we are soaking up the Living Water? When we wander away and find ourselves in a desert place, we are dry and brittle. Our leaves die and fall away before they can show the glory they were intended for.
We must be aware of and maintain our relationship with the Lord. We need to spend time with Him daily. Reading his Word. Sitting quietly at His feet. Listening to His soft, still voice lovingly guiding us along life's journey. We need to sing praises to His name and rejoice in His presence.
Then, and only then, we will reflect His glory, displaying the beauty that glorifies our God. By living close to His side, our roots grow deep and soak up the Living Water. Drinking it in, we have everything we need to grow and become who He created us to be.
Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV)
7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
Drink up, my friend, drink up. Like the song says, "Just like a tree that's planted by the water, I shall not be moved!"
Monday, September 19, 2016
Let It Rain
When I was a little girl I spent the night at my grandparents' house. I climbed up into a huge feather bed and sank down and cuddled in. It was raining, and the song of the raindrops dancing on the tin roof lulled me to sleep. I have no idea how old I was, quite young as I recall, but whatever my age, I will never forget that night. It was such a peaceful time of sleep and comfort. Ever since I have loved the sound of rain.
Do you love the rain? Yesterday we saw a good, soaking rain pour down on the ground that is dry and parched from this year's drought. The earth desperately needed that refreshment.
I am sitting on the back porch this morning looking out at the cattle pasture. After that wonderful rain yesterday, this morning there are patches of green all across the ground. Patches of green where yesterday there was only dust and dirt. Honestly, it's looks a little like springtime right now when all the new grass is starting to grow after a long winter.
We need refreshment too. We try to quench our thirst in so many ways. Cola. Juice drinks. Frozen, icy concoctions. And, of course, our southern staple...SWEET TEA! In reality, though, the best thing we can do for ourselves is drink water. Whether it is our skin, our houseplants or vegetable garden, a boiling pot of pinto beans, or our very own bodies, we need water.
It's been a long, hot, dry summer. My husband has had to sell over half of his herd of beef cattle because of the drought. And more will be going to market within the next two weeks. He has, for the first time in our 31 years of marriage, had to provide hay and feed to the animals to keep them alive during the summer. Normally we are mowing down weeds because they grow so high the cows can't consume it all. This year, we have watched as the grass has died away and the dust has boiled. This year we have watched as the rain was all around us but never reached this farm. This year we have been in a dry and weary land.
It's a season, and we know that. We know that the rain will come and grass will grow again. But in the middle of the season, frustration and concern grow more each passing, dry day.
Psalm 63:1 A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah. You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.
When our skin gets dry and itchy we slather on the lotion. When our plants get dry, we give them water. And, if we allow that pot of pinto beans to boil dry, the smell will linger for days and that pan is very hard to clean...not that I speak from experience, you understand!
We try to satisfy the longing of our souls. We seek comfort in material possessions. We try to escape hurt and disappointment with TV or shopping or blame. Our spirit is longing for something, but what? Where can we turn? Will we EVER find the answer?
Friend, in this dry, parched world, we need to start desperately yearning for the refreshing touch of our Savior's hand!
Psalm 143:6 I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Have you gotten into a dry, parched place in life? Do you feel dusty and fragile, ready to crack open like earth that hasn't had water in weeks and has been burned by the blazing sun? Does your life stink like that nasty pot of beans that stayed on the stove too long without water, now unfit for anything but the trash?
Turn to Jesus, my friend. Seek his face and bow at his feet. Ask him to refresh your soul. Drink from the well of living water. He will pour over you like the rain. He will clean up the nasty stench that has consumed you. And yes, He can restore you even when you thought all you were good for was the trash. Drink deeply. Completely. Fully. Soak up all He gives you.
Then you will see the renewing that comes from the Living Water. You will see those dry patches of your life begin to green up again. You will stop itching and longing for relief. You will smell the freshness of the clean that only He can give...You know, the smell that comes after the rain. You will experience what the psalmist described:
He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water. Psalm 107:35
Come to the fountain, friend. Stop and sit awhile. Talk to the Lord about the things you may have lost as you traveled through this difficult time. Allow the Lord to turn this desert season of your life into a time of new growth...just like the patches of green across our fields today.
As the song says, "Let it rain! Let it rain! Open the floodgates of heaven and let it rain!"
Do you love the rain? Yesterday we saw a good, soaking rain pour down on the ground that is dry and parched from this year's drought. The earth desperately needed that refreshment.
I am sitting on the back porch this morning looking out at the cattle pasture. After that wonderful rain yesterday, this morning there are patches of green all across the ground. Patches of green where yesterday there was only dust and dirt. Honestly, it's looks a little like springtime right now when all the new grass is starting to grow after a long winter.
We need refreshment too. We try to quench our thirst in so many ways. Cola. Juice drinks. Frozen, icy concoctions. And, of course, our southern staple...SWEET TEA! In reality, though, the best thing we can do for ourselves is drink water. Whether it is our skin, our houseplants or vegetable garden, a boiling pot of pinto beans, or our very own bodies, we need water.
It's been a long, hot, dry summer. My husband has had to sell over half of his herd of beef cattle because of the drought. And more will be going to market within the next two weeks. He has, for the first time in our 31 years of marriage, had to provide hay and feed to the animals to keep them alive during the summer. Normally we are mowing down weeds because they grow so high the cows can't consume it all. This year, we have watched as the grass has died away and the dust has boiled. This year we have watched as the rain was all around us but never reached this farm. This year we have been in a dry and weary land.
It's a season, and we know that. We know that the rain will come and grass will grow again. But in the middle of the season, frustration and concern grow more each passing, dry day.
Psalm 63:1 A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah. You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.
When our skin gets dry and itchy we slather on the lotion. When our plants get dry, we give them water. And, if we allow that pot of pinto beans to boil dry, the smell will linger for days and that pan is very hard to clean...not that I speak from experience, you understand!
We try to satisfy the longing of our souls. We seek comfort in material possessions. We try to escape hurt and disappointment with TV or shopping or blame. Our spirit is longing for something, but what? Where can we turn? Will we EVER find the answer?
Friend, in this dry, parched world, we need to start desperately yearning for the refreshing touch of our Savior's hand!
Psalm 143:6 I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Have you gotten into a dry, parched place in life? Do you feel dusty and fragile, ready to crack open like earth that hasn't had water in weeks and has been burned by the blazing sun? Does your life stink like that nasty pot of beans that stayed on the stove too long without water, now unfit for anything but the trash?
Turn to Jesus, my friend. Seek his face and bow at his feet. Ask him to refresh your soul. Drink from the well of living water. He will pour over you like the rain. He will clean up the nasty stench that has consumed you. And yes, He can restore you even when you thought all you were good for was the trash. Drink deeply. Completely. Fully. Soak up all He gives you.
Then you will see the renewing that comes from the Living Water. You will see those dry patches of your life begin to green up again. You will stop itching and longing for relief. You will smell the freshness of the clean that only He can give...You know, the smell that comes after the rain. You will experience what the psalmist described:
He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water. Psalm 107:35
Come to the fountain, friend. Stop and sit awhile. Talk to the Lord about the things you may have lost as you traveled through this difficult time. Allow the Lord to turn this desert season of your life into a time of new growth...just like the patches of green across our fields today.
As the song says, "Let it rain! Let it rain! Open the floodgates of heaven and let it rain!"
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
Put Your Dancing Shoes On!
January 20, 2014. A day I will never forget.... It has been 960 days since the adventure began. It will never be over, but today it reached a pinnacle I had been waiting for...for a very long time.
Whether you have been journeying with me from the beginning, came in mid-way, helped me finish out treatment, or met me after it was all over, you should celebrate today. Because without my prayer warriors, encouragers, cheerleaders, caregivers, fellow adventurers, medical family, and especially those who know the darkest moments of fear, tears, and confusion...I couldn't have made it.
God is good, no matter what. That's what we say when we are in the middle of the cancer battle. All the time we are hoping for healing. Never losing hope yet facing the truth that healing may not come, we commit to give God the glory.
Some of my friends and fellow adventurers did not make it. I think of three beautiful ladies who are worshiping at the feet of Jesus today. Families left without mothers grieve what we all fear cancer will do to us. There were others I saw in the treatment room who are still in the midst of their battle. Some friends have since had new diagnoses and have endured the walk to recovery. Some are just now beginning their own journey. Some will do all this for the rest of their lives. Yet I still hear them giving God the glory.
Cancer causes much disruption and distress. It interrupts life. When the diagnosis comes, your focus shifts to the multitude of appointments you must keep. What you can eat that might actually have flavor since your taste buds are damaged and lacking now. Watching your platelet count and hoping it doesn't go too low to get your chemo. The fatigue from the radiation keeps you from some activities you love but teaches you to appreciate the rest of a good, refreshing, long nap.
When you finally reach the end of treatment you have so many new people in your life. The treatment room nurses. The radiation therapists. Doctors. RNs. NPs. APNs. PAs. Fellow patients. Facebook friends you haven't really met but heard of your story and wanted to pray for you. All people who are rooting for you and wishing you the best. Finally the radiation burns heal and your hair starts to grow back.
But your journey is not over. You have at least five years of constant observation by all those doctors who got you through. Every few months you see someone. They all encourage you. They urge you onward. They smile and say, see you in twelve weeks.
You hear things like:
Everything looks good
You're doing well
Keep up the good work
A+ today
But the words I have longed to hear. The words every doc has held back. Those are the words I finally heard today.
C A N C E R F R E E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So put on your dancin' shoes, people! It's time to do the Holy Ghost Hop! (Only you Carman fans will get that.) Seriously, celebrate with me!
Give God the glory! He leads us through good times and bad. He holds us up when we can't take another step on our own. I will praise God for healing me. I will share my story again and again and again. I will honor those who don't hear these precious words and continue to work to encourage everyone to take good care of themselves and to seek medical treatment and screenings. As long as I can speak or type, I will tell people of God and what he did for me.
Now, let's dance! Raise those hands! Turn the praise music up! Celebrate Jesus today!!
Whether you have been journeying with me from the beginning, came in mid-way, helped me finish out treatment, or met me after it was all over, you should celebrate today. Because without my prayer warriors, encouragers, cheerleaders, caregivers, fellow adventurers, medical family, and especially those who know the darkest moments of fear, tears, and confusion...I couldn't have made it.
God is good, no matter what. That's what we say when we are in the middle of the cancer battle. All the time we are hoping for healing. Never losing hope yet facing the truth that healing may not come, we commit to give God the glory.
Some of my friends and fellow adventurers did not make it. I think of three beautiful ladies who are worshiping at the feet of Jesus today. Families left without mothers grieve what we all fear cancer will do to us. There were others I saw in the treatment room who are still in the midst of their battle. Some friends have since had new diagnoses and have endured the walk to recovery. Some are just now beginning their own journey. Some will do all this for the rest of their lives. Yet I still hear them giving God the glory.
Cancer causes much disruption and distress. It interrupts life. When the diagnosis comes, your focus shifts to the multitude of appointments you must keep. What you can eat that might actually have flavor since your taste buds are damaged and lacking now. Watching your platelet count and hoping it doesn't go too low to get your chemo. The fatigue from the radiation keeps you from some activities you love but teaches you to appreciate the rest of a good, refreshing, long nap.
When you finally reach the end of treatment you have so many new people in your life. The treatment room nurses. The radiation therapists. Doctors. RNs. NPs. APNs. PAs. Fellow patients. Facebook friends you haven't really met but heard of your story and wanted to pray for you. All people who are rooting for you and wishing you the best. Finally the radiation burns heal and your hair starts to grow back.
But your journey is not over. You have at least five years of constant observation by all those doctors who got you through. Every few months you see someone. They all encourage you. They urge you onward. They smile and say, see you in twelve weeks.
You hear things like:
Everything looks good
You're doing well
Keep up the good work
A+ today
But the words I have longed to hear. The words every doc has held back. Those are the words I finally heard today.
C A N C E R F R E E !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So put on your dancin' shoes, people! It's time to do the Holy Ghost Hop! (Only you Carman fans will get that.) Seriously, celebrate with me!
Give God the glory! He leads us through good times and bad. He holds us up when we can't take another step on our own. I will praise God for healing me. I will share my story again and again and again. I will honor those who don't hear these precious words and continue to work to encourage everyone to take good care of themselves and to seek medical treatment and screenings. As long as I can speak or type, I will tell people of God and what he did for me.
Now, let's dance! Raise those hands! Turn the praise music up! Celebrate Jesus today!!
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
Politics, Opinions, and Jesus
This is not about my political opinions. I will not be involved in a conversation about who I am voting for. So, lets get it straight right here, up front, this is not about that.
However, I do want to say I am so up-to-here fed up with the new phenomenon that has developed lately, especially in this season of political races, that if your opinion is different than my opinion, I have to be offended, you have to be wrong, and I have to blast you with ridicule and contempt for daring to oppose me. Because I believe differently than you does not mean you must mock or taunt me. Your freedom to speak your thoughts does not supersede my freedom to speak my thoughts. Your opinion is no more correct than mine, except in your own opinion.
What happened to polite conversation? What happened to a friendly debate? What happened that has brought us to the point of attacking a person for simply believing differently than we do? Friends, we need to step back and evaluate what we are becoming. Why are we allowing ourselves to feed off hatred and spew the bitterness it breeds?
As representatives of Jesus, we carry the name of Christ. They were first called Christians at Antioch. You will read that in Acts 11:26. I saw a Facebook post commenting on this and decided to dig a little deeper. From what I have learned, the name Christian was given to the disciples as a nickname of sorts. Outsiders called them that; it wasn't a name they used for themselves. According to MacLaren, "It (the name Christian) was given at the first by the inhabitants of the Syrian city of Antioch, to a new sort of people that had sprung up amongst them, and whom they could not quite make out. They would not fit into any of their categories, and so they had to invent a new name for them."
I ask you, are you fitting in to the categories of the world or are you such a misfit that you have to be given a unique nickname? Are you falling into the trap of standing up and fighting for your own rights in a hateful and forceful way, thus alienating anyone who might otherwise converse and interact with you in a way that would allow you to share the good news of Jesus with them? Are people looking at you and wondering why you are different or are you so caught up in having your opinions heard and agreed to that you are just another voice in a concerto of sarcasm and sneers?
MacLaren goes on to say, "...this name suggests that the clear impression made by our conduct and character, as well as by our words, should be that we belong to Jesus Christ." What is the clear impression people have of you? Is your conduct declaring to the world that you belong to Jesus? What about your character? Does it reflect Jesus to those who are watching you when you think they aren't? What about your words? Is venom erupting from your mouth because someone dares to oppose your view? Let's decide to be sure and certain we are behaving in such a way that Jesus Christ is represented well and people watching us will have to say we are so different we can't fit into any category this world has to offer. Let's live so that they HAVE to call us Christian!
However, I do want to say I am so up-to-here fed up with the new phenomenon that has developed lately, especially in this season of political races, that if your opinion is different than my opinion, I have to be offended, you have to be wrong, and I have to blast you with ridicule and contempt for daring to oppose me. Because I believe differently than you does not mean you must mock or taunt me. Your freedom to speak your thoughts does not supersede my freedom to speak my thoughts. Your opinion is no more correct than mine, except in your own opinion.
What happened to polite conversation? What happened to a friendly debate? What happened that has brought us to the point of attacking a person for simply believing differently than we do? Friends, we need to step back and evaluate what we are becoming. Why are we allowing ourselves to feed off hatred and spew the bitterness it breeds?
As representatives of Jesus, we carry the name of Christ. They were first called Christians at Antioch. You will read that in Acts 11:26. I saw a Facebook post commenting on this and decided to dig a little deeper. From what I have learned, the name Christian was given to the disciples as a nickname of sorts. Outsiders called them that; it wasn't a name they used for themselves. According to MacLaren, "It (the name Christian) was given at the first by the inhabitants of the Syrian city of Antioch, to a new sort of people that had sprung up amongst them, and whom they could not quite make out. They would not fit into any of their categories, and so they had to invent a new name for them."
I ask you, are you fitting in to the categories of the world or are you such a misfit that you have to be given a unique nickname? Are you falling into the trap of standing up and fighting for your own rights in a hateful and forceful way, thus alienating anyone who might otherwise converse and interact with you in a way that would allow you to share the good news of Jesus with them? Are people looking at you and wondering why you are different or are you so caught up in having your opinions heard and agreed to that you are just another voice in a concerto of sarcasm and sneers?
MacLaren goes on to say, "...this name suggests that the clear impression made by our conduct and character, as well as by our words, should be that we belong to Jesus Christ." What is the clear impression people have of you? Is your conduct declaring to the world that you belong to Jesus? What about your character? Does it reflect Jesus to those who are watching you when you think they aren't? What about your words? Is venom erupting from your mouth because someone dares to oppose your view? Let's decide to be sure and certain we are behaving in such a way that Jesus Christ is represented well and people watching us will have to say we are so different we can't fit into any category this world has to offer. Let's live so that they HAVE to call us Christian!
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Treasures
Her grandfather's cedar chest was buried beneath a pile of clothes needing hangers. We moved them to the bed and lifted the lid. Hangers could wait. All the speculation and prospecting came down to this moment. Deep inside was a treasure, a treasure we had come to find. Before we could retrieve it, we had to move aside the blankets so lovingly and beautifully crocheted by my aunts twenty-seven years ago. There was a crib sheet and comforter that rocketed us both back to that nursery decorated in primary colors, so bright and cheerful. We found items tucked away for no other reason than there was no where else to put them. The belt I was wearing the night he proposed and gave me a beautiful diamond ring. The shoes I wore when I said, "I do." A knife with the stamp of the restaurant equipment company my grandfather worked for. Sympathy cards tied with a pretty bow with a dried rose attached from my father's grave. Little frames of cross-stitch I made for my hubby before we were married. The mother's copy of her birth certificate. A stack of her school papers and drawings. A card she had intended to mail to her BFF in sixth grade, sealed and addressed. Her royal blue graduation gown from RHS. Another blanket so carefully made by another precious lady who loved and cared for her dad when he was a boy.
Then we found it, carefully wrapped in layers of plastic... my veil.
After all these years it is still pretty and white, though a little wrinkled. As we pulled it out and her face lit up when she saw it, my heart was happy. It's a little dated with the headpiece, but that is easily remedied. We stood there, placing it on her head, spreading it out as best we could, which wasn't that good since it is so long. She twisted her hair up and showed me how she would like to wear it and we talked about how easy it would be to get it ready for 362 days from today.
Now it is stashed away in a fresh bag and plans are made to contact a friend who can help us with the updates. The memories have been carefully replaced in the chest. She is gone, almost to her new home in Alabama after a wonderful, busy weekend visit to make some wedding plans. And here I sit. Heart swelled with emotion as my little girl plans to wear my veil when she weds the man of her dreams. It's a nice, satisfying feeling to know she wanted it. It just brings a certain peace that can't be described.
As she left today I was ready to burst into tears. Not sad, miserable tears. Tears that can only be understood by the mother of the bride. She asked why. I just smiled and told her, "Can't explain it. You'll understand in twenty or thirty years." So in two weeks when we shop for her dress, I will have my pockets full of pretty hankies because sometimes life's blessings fill your heart with so much joy there is not enough room inside and it has to escape out of the corners of your eyes.
Then we found it, carefully wrapped in layers of plastic... my veil.
After all these years it is still pretty and white, though a little wrinkled. As we pulled it out and her face lit up when she saw it, my heart was happy. It's a little dated with the headpiece, but that is easily remedied. We stood there, placing it on her head, spreading it out as best we could, which wasn't that good since it is so long. She twisted her hair up and showed me how she would like to wear it and we talked about how easy it would be to get it ready for 362 days from today.
Now it is stashed away in a fresh bag and plans are made to contact a friend who can help us with the updates. The memories have been carefully replaced in the chest. She is gone, almost to her new home in Alabama after a wonderful, busy weekend visit to make some wedding plans. And here I sit. Heart swelled with emotion as my little girl plans to wear my veil when she weds the man of her dreams. It's a nice, satisfying feeling to know she wanted it. It just brings a certain peace that can't be described.
As she left today I was ready to burst into tears. Not sad, miserable tears. Tears that can only be understood by the mother of the bride. She asked why. I just smiled and told her, "Can't explain it. You'll understand in twenty or thirty years." So in two weeks when we shop for her dress, I will have my pockets full of pretty hankies because sometimes life's blessings fill your heart with so much joy there is not enough room inside and it has to escape out of the corners of your eyes.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
The Storm
The darkness began to creep around us like a dense fog. The difference is, you can see the fog weaving its way through every crook and cranny, but the darkness quietly and quickly consumes you. As the lightning, massive, horrifying bolts of lightning, broke the sky, we were able to glimpse the intensity of the storm. On the weather app it was a relatively small area, but when you are in the middle of the purple spot on the radar screen it feels like the horror will never end. As the rain began there were only a few random large drops at first. Suddenly, however, we were blinded as another flash of lightning broke through the thick darkness, which apparently was the signal for sheets of thick rain to now wash over us. Traffic slowed immediately. Flashers came on. Leaning forward we tried to watch for the vehicles we knew were in front of us just minutes before. Creeping along with the line of traffic into a storm that grew deeper and more fierce by the second, we decided to get off the interstate and wait it out.
We were pulling a cattle trailer behind our big dually pickup, so we couldn't just pull into any lot; we have to find one big enough. About a mile away we found the empty lot of a small business which had closed for the day. As we sat there the storm grew more severe, its power overtaking all in its path. The lightning piercing the black murk that had swallowed us served only to make us keenly aware of the danger we had wandered into.
In the parking lot, though, the lights from the business provided a clear view. They welcomed us to a relative expectation of safety. They seemed to be a beacon, like a lighthouse to a ship on the storm-tossed sea. Sitting there, I watched the rain racing toward the drain, but it was coming down so fast there soon rose into a small river that would have been over my ankles should I have chosen to leave the safety of the truck and wade through it. So we waited. And waited. Until we thought enough of the worst had passed, allowing us a chance to head for home.
We still had to drive in the rain. Sometimes it was heavy and sometime it was a sprinkle. As we drove out of the north end of the storm, the rain stopped, the darkness grew a little lighter, and soon the roads were dry. Traffic resumed its race to reach its destination. It was late. We were ready to get home and to our own bed.
Life's trials can be like this storm. Sudden and very dark. Even though we knew a storm was brewing just ahead, there was nothing we can do to avoid it. We saw the lightning begin. We felt the darkness fall around us. We looked at the radar and knew we were driving right into it. Yet we had no where to go. Coming up I59 toward Chattanooga...well, it's the only way home. The. Only. Way. Home.
Heaven. We long to be there to find rest from the storms in our lives. We know our destination is a place of rest and beauty. We know we are safe there. We know we will be welcomed and loved. We know there is Light there and there is NO darkness. But first we have life to live. Adventures to enjoy. Memories to make. And storms to face.
So, live your adventure, my friend. There will be bright, sunny days with blue skies and fluffy clouds. There will be gray days with patches of blue sky showing through. There will be rainy days. There will be storms. When you are facing a storm that consumes your life. When you are enveloped in darkness so thick you couldn't cut it with a knife. When the rain falls so heavily you are unable to see where to step, remember who calms the storm. He's there. Waiting to be the safe place you pull into to escape the dangers and fears overwhelming your thoughts. Let Him love you and lead you through. He will. I promise.
Psalm 107:28-31 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man!
We were pulling a cattle trailer behind our big dually pickup, so we couldn't just pull into any lot; we have to find one big enough. About a mile away we found the empty lot of a small business which had closed for the day. As we sat there the storm grew more severe, its power overtaking all in its path. The lightning piercing the black murk that had swallowed us served only to make us keenly aware of the danger we had wandered into.
In the parking lot, though, the lights from the business provided a clear view. They welcomed us to a relative expectation of safety. They seemed to be a beacon, like a lighthouse to a ship on the storm-tossed sea. Sitting there, I watched the rain racing toward the drain, but it was coming down so fast there soon rose into a small river that would have been over my ankles should I have chosen to leave the safety of the truck and wade through it. So we waited. And waited. Until we thought enough of the worst had passed, allowing us a chance to head for home.
We still had to drive in the rain. Sometimes it was heavy and sometime it was a sprinkle. As we drove out of the north end of the storm, the rain stopped, the darkness grew a little lighter, and soon the roads were dry. Traffic resumed its race to reach its destination. It was late. We were ready to get home and to our own bed.
Life's trials can be like this storm. Sudden and very dark. Even though we knew a storm was brewing just ahead, there was nothing we can do to avoid it. We saw the lightning begin. We felt the darkness fall around us. We looked at the radar and knew we were driving right into it. Yet we had no where to go. Coming up I59 toward Chattanooga...well, it's the only way home. The. Only. Way. Home.
Heaven. We long to be there to find rest from the storms in our lives. We know our destination is a place of rest and beauty. We know we are safe there. We know we will be welcomed and loved. We know there is Light there and there is NO darkness. But first we have life to live. Adventures to enjoy. Memories to make. And storms to face.
So, live your adventure, my friend. There will be bright, sunny days with blue skies and fluffy clouds. There will be gray days with patches of blue sky showing through. There will be rainy days. There will be storms. When you are facing a storm that consumes your life. When you are enveloped in darkness so thick you couldn't cut it with a knife. When the rain falls so heavily you are unable to see where to step, remember who calms the storm. He's there. Waiting to be the safe place you pull into to escape the dangers and fears overwhelming your thoughts. Let Him love you and lead you through. He will. I promise.
Psalm 107:28-31 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven. Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man!
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
About These Doctor's Appointments...
I want to share with you more about my appointment this morning. I don't fear the doctor anymore like I did when I was a child. Back then I got sicker to my stomach the closer we got to the doctor's office. When my mom got off the interstate and turned the corner bringing us within about two blocks of the office, I would be in such an anxious state I couldn't hardly stand my own self. At this point in my life, though, so many different medical people have poked and prodded on me, stuck me, drawn maps on me, and seen me unclothed that it doesn't matter anymore. I take a book so I will have something to do while I wait - 'cause you know you're gonna wait.
I want to be clear here at the beginning, I do not fear another diagnosis of cancer - though I MUCH prefer NOT to face that again. Who would?
Only one or two reading this will know that after procedures like I had there is constant tenderness and irritation. It never goes away. The surgery incisions damage nerves. (I have two very close together; each about two inches long.) The radiation damages nerves. (I had 30+ treatments.) Nerves take years to heal and are painful as they do. So, if you come toward me for a hug, you may notice I will turn my right side to you and cover my left in some way. When I do a lot of lifting or carrying of heavy things (like my luggage last week) it causes stress and pain. The simple process of capping and slicing strawberries even causes some extra discomfort by the constant motion. I tell you all this simply as a matter of information - which you may not want. I tell you because I know I have many surviving sisters who experience the same things and its not something we walk around telling everyone we meet. In fact, many of my friends will be learning these things as they read this.
I tell you so you will understand that these periodic doctor visits and tests come with the constant realization and thought that we might have to restart chemo, face more surgery, or endure more radiation. It's a possibility we have to face.
So, today, meeting my new, absolutely marvelous, super-encouraging APN was perfectly timed. She's been seeing breast cancer patients for twenty years, but somehow it has taken me two years to get to her. God's timing is perfect. She had all the time in the world to talk with me. I'm not one to quiz medical staff, but she took my broad questions and gave me detailed and educated answers. She hugged me and told me I was doing great. She was just what I needed today.
I want to be very sensitive of my friends who are in the middle of treatments and continue to battle cancer today - some for years. I know they will understand that tonight I breathe a deep sigh and thank my Lord for another all-clear. God is good. No matter what happens. Please don't let me give anyone the impression that I would only praise Him for a good report. Even so, I know you will understand the relief I have tonight.
I thank you for your constant prayers, love, and support. I walked into a church a couple weeks ago and the lady who greeted me said, "Are you Caitlin's mom?? We have been praying and praying for you!!" My heart jumped for joy because I knew the depth of the truth of her statement. I was deeply convicted and touched that people I have never seen know who I am because of friends requesting prayer for me. I was thrilled to meet a sister in Christ who loved me before she knew me.
I covet your prayers and know God is listening. I also believe more deeply tonight that He is equipping me to serve Him more as I continue to live this adventure I get to call my life.
Thursday, April 28, 2016
The Final Edit
This morning I edited another paper for my daughter. Mostly I just look for misspelled words and too many commas. She is a very good writer. I love that she trusts me enough to do this for her. After all, she's going to be a doctor and I'm just the mom. (Don't start telling me that being mom is so much more. I know that and I'm not saying that to put myself down.) The point is, she trusts me with what I consider to be very important work. But that's not the purpose of this post.
I want to focus on the end. We never know when it will come. I know this is her last paper for grad school because that's a big deal and deserves to be celebrated. Oh, and she put it on Facebook. On a different note, however, I look back to my dad's final week. We didn't know on that Sunday night as they rushed us out of the room to put him on life support we were having our final conversation with him. I didn't know that last visit with a friend would be the last. That she wouldn't be in my home again. I can't remember the last time I carried my child on my hip before she was suddenly to big for me to lift.
The end comes quickly. Often unexpected. Perhaps just as often expected. I remember my last chemo treatment. I still have my tiara. I remember my last radiation treatment, ringing the bell, and the applause from the people waiting for their own treatment. Graduation days are to celebrate the end of years of hard work. Retirement dinners welcome the end of a productive career and the anticipation of many future days of fun and relaxation.
Frankly, I don't want the end to sneak up on me. I want to live today as if it were the last. I want to be conscious of holding hands, loving with all my heart, listening intently when spoken to, offering a smile and a word of encouragement, doing better today than I did yesterday.
This really isn't supposed to be a morbid blog post about approaching the end of life. I hope to convey that we never know what we will miss tomorrow. Those special times that, because of the direction of life, now cease to be. I want to encourage you to look at the most mundane thing in your life, whether it is driving the kids to school, cooking dinner, folding underwear, mopping floors, studying, or having to totally stop what you are doing to go help someone else, with pleasure and gratitude. This might be the last time you can do it. Before you know it your child will be driving herself. Enjoy while you can. (I didn't write the date on the calendar so I couldn't tell you when I no longer took the long way to work every morning. But that was an ending to celebrate!)
No one has said this out loud around my house, but we've really had our last student summer. This year she will be moving to another city and won't spend so many weeks with us. If any at all. The move will be quick from school to internship and getting settled will demand her time there. It happened and we didn't realize it.
Life is an adventure. The bend in the road may bring you to a new and unexpectedly beautiful view. Like for us this summer. I have loved every stage and transition in my beautiful daughter's life and I don't regret the changes that take her away from us. It brings me great joy to see her living out who God created her to be and pursuing the dreams He placed in her heart. That said, at least she will be closer and I can go visit more often - for at least a year! You may round the bend in your road to find the view blocked, requiring you to move ahead purely on blind faith. Whatever your adventure is today, throw yourself into it as if you will never have the chance again. I saw this anonymous quote:
No matter
what happens,
where you go,
or what you do,
always remember:
No one can take the
fire out of your soul, the
stars from your eyes, or the
passion that's within your heart.
Those things belong to you.
Always.
So, if you've hand some endings. If you've looked back to realize that a special time has come and gone and life has moved you to another place and time. If you can't remember when the last time was or if you can remember exactly what you were wearing and where you were, don't miss the adventure. Feed the fire in your soul. Let the stars in your eyes sparkle and shine. Live out your passion each day. Like no one is watching. Because you really don't want to miss a thing.
I want to focus on the end. We never know when it will come. I know this is her last paper for grad school because that's a big deal and deserves to be celebrated. Oh, and she put it on Facebook. On a different note, however, I look back to my dad's final week. We didn't know on that Sunday night as they rushed us out of the room to put him on life support we were having our final conversation with him. I didn't know that last visit with a friend would be the last. That she wouldn't be in my home again. I can't remember the last time I carried my child on my hip before she was suddenly to big for me to lift.
The end comes quickly. Often unexpected. Perhaps just as often expected. I remember my last chemo treatment. I still have my tiara. I remember my last radiation treatment, ringing the bell, and the applause from the people waiting for their own treatment. Graduation days are to celebrate the end of years of hard work. Retirement dinners welcome the end of a productive career and the anticipation of many future days of fun and relaxation.
Frankly, I don't want the end to sneak up on me. I want to live today as if it were the last. I want to be conscious of holding hands, loving with all my heart, listening intently when spoken to, offering a smile and a word of encouragement, doing better today than I did yesterday.
This really isn't supposed to be a morbid blog post about approaching the end of life. I hope to convey that we never know what we will miss tomorrow. Those special times that, because of the direction of life, now cease to be. I want to encourage you to look at the most mundane thing in your life, whether it is driving the kids to school, cooking dinner, folding underwear, mopping floors, studying, or having to totally stop what you are doing to go help someone else, with pleasure and gratitude. This might be the last time you can do it. Before you know it your child will be driving herself. Enjoy while you can. (I didn't write the date on the calendar so I couldn't tell you when I no longer took the long way to work every morning. But that was an ending to celebrate!)
No one has said this out loud around my house, but we've really had our last student summer. This year she will be moving to another city and won't spend so many weeks with us. If any at all. The move will be quick from school to internship and getting settled will demand her time there. It happened and we didn't realize it.
Life is an adventure. The bend in the road may bring you to a new and unexpectedly beautiful view. Like for us this summer. I have loved every stage and transition in my beautiful daughter's life and I don't regret the changes that take her away from us. It brings me great joy to see her living out who God created her to be and pursuing the dreams He placed in her heart. That said, at least she will be closer and I can go visit more often - for at least a year! You may round the bend in your road to find the view blocked, requiring you to move ahead purely on blind faith. Whatever your adventure is today, throw yourself into it as if you will never have the chance again. I saw this anonymous quote:
No matter
what happens,
where you go,
or what you do,
always remember:
No one can take the
fire out of your soul, the
stars from your eyes, or the
passion that's within your heart.
Those things belong to you.
Always.
So, if you've hand some endings. If you've looked back to realize that a special time has come and gone and life has moved you to another place and time. If you can't remember when the last time was or if you can remember exactly what you were wearing and where you were, don't miss the adventure. Feed the fire in your soul. Let the stars in your eyes sparkle and shine. Live out your passion each day. Like no one is watching. Because you really don't want to miss a thing.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Longing for Beauty
Don't we all want to be beautiful? We are bombarded by magazine and TV ads telling us what beauty is. We shop for the perfect shade of lipstick. We spend time in front of the mirror trying to get our hair just so. We dress for success. We do whatever we can to make ourselves feel beautiful.
"Real beauty comes from within." How many times have you heard your mother or a friend say that? It's something we are told at a young age when we are trying too hard to achieve the standard set for us by Hollywood and the marketing agencies. They are words meant to comfort us in those awkward teen years when we feel like we have three eyes and two heads and are surely the most hideous creature ever. We use them when talking about someone who may not be physically beautiful. They become an excuse. To not be our best.
However, they are so very true.
Beauty, true beauty, doesn't just happen. It is cultivated. Tended. Nurtured. The beauty that glows from deep within. The beauty that encourages and strengthens another. The beauty of right relationships. The beauty of a giving heart.
Yesterday my daughter and I went to the botanical gardens in the city where she lives. There are 175 acres of flowers, shrubs, and trees, and, of course, we didn't get to see it all. The parts we did see, though, were simply beautiful. Azaleas in light pink, dark pink, red, orange, purple, with large flowers and tiny clusters of blooms, plants massive in size or very small. Tulips in varieties of bright colors and sizes and shapes. Tiny blooms on some plants, and towering trees providing precious shade. Then I noticed something we almost overlooked. The lady on her knees in the back of one particular area, tenderly planting new plants for summer blooms.
That's when I realized how guilty I am of expecting perfection without being willing to work for it. This magnificent garden of acres and acres of carefully maintained plants, paths, ponds, canals, bridges, and sculptures, didn't just happen overnight. In fact, we learned that people were hired for 75 cents per day to clean out the swamp that became this mecca of serenity that quietly calms the soul. While riding the tram to get a quick overview of the property, we saw the maintenance area, which was rather large. There were several buildings housing vehicles and tools, and in the shade there was a picnic table with several ladies gathered around having lunch. A small glimpse into the toil that goes into creating the perfection we had been enjoying.
I will share with you some of the flowers we saw:
I think you probably smiled when looking at these pictures. They might have brought you a lot of joy. The bright pink brightens my day. The little lady bug on the big white blooms, the perfect touch. The unusual root of some mysterious plant that just intrigued me. The pale yellow orchids. And we all know the Bonsai tree takes much skill and care that most of us can only stand back and admire. Each one beautiful. Each one tenderly cared for with gentle hands. Yet they also need the hot sun and the drenching rains. It takes more than wishing to be beautiful. It takes support. It takes enduring strength. It takes living, and living fully what only YOU are created to be.
The orchid will never look like a tulip which will never look like a Bonsai which will never have huge blossoms like the snowball bush. Be beautiful. Be yourself. Take care of yourself and don't worry about the other gal. As the saying goes, bloom where you are planted.
These words by Maya Angelou may say it best: "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has to gone through to achieve that beauty." What changes do you need to make? From seed to seedling to tender shoots to brightly colored blooms, it's a process. And sometimes it hurts. Are you ready to admit the changes YOU need to go through to achieve true beauty? Beauty that comes from within?
"Real beauty comes from within." How many times have you heard your mother or a friend say that? It's something we are told at a young age when we are trying too hard to achieve the standard set for us by Hollywood and the marketing agencies. They are words meant to comfort us in those awkward teen years when we feel like we have three eyes and two heads and are surely the most hideous creature ever. We use them when talking about someone who may not be physically beautiful. They become an excuse. To not be our best.
However, they are so very true.
Beauty, true beauty, doesn't just happen. It is cultivated. Tended. Nurtured. The beauty that glows from deep within. The beauty that encourages and strengthens another. The beauty of right relationships. The beauty of a giving heart.
Yesterday my daughter and I went to the botanical gardens in the city where she lives. There are 175 acres of flowers, shrubs, and trees, and, of course, we didn't get to see it all. The parts we did see, though, were simply beautiful. Azaleas in light pink, dark pink, red, orange, purple, with large flowers and tiny clusters of blooms, plants massive in size or very small. Tulips in varieties of bright colors and sizes and shapes. Tiny blooms on some plants, and towering trees providing precious shade. Then I noticed something we almost overlooked. The lady on her knees in the back of one particular area, tenderly planting new plants for summer blooms.
That's when I realized how guilty I am of expecting perfection without being willing to work for it. This magnificent garden of acres and acres of carefully maintained plants, paths, ponds, canals, bridges, and sculptures, didn't just happen overnight. In fact, we learned that people were hired for 75 cents per day to clean out the swamp that became this mecca of serenity that quietly calms the soul. While riding the tram to get a quick overview of the property, we saw the maintenance area, which was rather large. There were several buildings housing vehicles and tools, and in the shade there was a picnic table with several ladies gathered around having lunch. A small glimpse into the toil that goes into creating the perfection we had been enjoying.
I will share with you some of the flowers we saw:
The orchid will never look like a tulip which will never look like a Bonsai which will never have huge blossoms like the snowball bush. Be beautiful. Be yourself. Take care of yourself and don't worry about the other gal. As the saying goes, bloom where you are planted.
These words by Maya Angelou may say it best: "We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has to gone through to achieve that beauty." What changes do you need to make? From seed to seedling to tender shoots to brightly colored blooms, it's a process. And sometimes it hurts. Are you ready to admit the changes YOU need to go through to achieve true beauty? Beauty that comes from within?
Friday, April 15, 2016
The Reality of Wanting Another
I embarked on this adventure alone...heading out to visit my daughter. I packed almost everything I own because of the fluctuating weather and called my mom to take me to the airport. My excitement grew as the day neared and I had great expectations of girl-time that has become more and more scarce of late. She made a list of things for us to do. Places to visit. Things to make. Restaurants. In our few days we have much to keep us active and busy. We hope to fit in a day on the beach --- if it warms enough to venture out there. Most importantly, we will talk and laugh and talk and laugh some more. As I was getting things ready at home, washing clothes, straightening the house, cooking food for my husband...my focus was on what would happen after I reached my destination. However.
The night before my departure I briefly realized this would be my first time in the airport alone. It was not a thought that frightened me. But it did intrigue me. At this point in my life, I know how to get through security and find my gate. My bag was way under fifty pounds, so no worries about what I might have to take out and leave behind in a trash can. Of course, it's always nicer when you get pre-screened and don't have to do anything except take your laptop out of your bag and quickly walk through the metal detector with your shoes on! I still haven't figured out how they choose me for such a wonderful gift, but I gladly accept every time. The point is, I am quite confident about my airport abilities.
Still, I suddenly didn't want to go alone. Not because of fear or anxiety, but because it felt lonely. I've either always travelled with a large group or with my husband. Bless his heart, I don't think he has EVER been chosen for pre-screening and he always has to unlace his shoes, take off his belt, empty his change and keys from his pocket...all that stuff. Then there was the time he forgot the ink pen in his shirt pocket and got the total pat-down-package. I was half-way to the gate before I realized he was still in security rolling his eyes while trying to comply with their demands.
Anyway, there's a sense of security that comes from having someone beside you. Especially on an adventure. Plus, the excitement is multiplied and any anxiety is divided when you have someone to share it with. As I thought about going on my trip alone I realized that's what many of us do in the normal everyday. We try to make it alone. We struggle with our baggage, shifting the weight this way or that every few steps, trying to maintain balance as we navigate the flood of roadblocks along the path. We cocoon away into isolation, thinking we are protecting ourselves. Yet, in reality, we are missing out on exciting conversation with the ones we love or meeting new people who may have much insight and color to pour into us. Hiding from the world, we soon forget who we are, losing our identity we simply exist to breathe, eat, sleep, and do it all another day.
Being on adventure with someone is so much better. I mean, in the airport, it's fun to watch people. And when you're with someone close, you know, someone you don't need words and can just communicate with by a glance, you can watch the people and enjoy all the variety together, with nary a word. When you travel with someone, you can share the $9 sandwich and not feel like you're wasting so much by only eating half. You have someone to watch your coffee when you run to the bathroom one last time before boarding. When you travel with someone, you have someone to lean against when you have to sit by a big, hairy man who is sleeping and leaning toward you on the plane. (Yeah, that's awkward.)
And then I had this thought: God didn't mean for us to go through life alone. He wants to be with us. That's why He gave us the Comforter. His Spirit. Here on earth. He wants us to be on adventure with Him and let him share the good and bad times. He is waiting to be invited and be our companion on this adventure we are living. Of course, I have a song. It goes like this,
So, friend, we don't have to go it alone. We don't have to carry that sense of loneliness. We have a constant companion in Jesus and he is delighted to walk by our side. While I enjoy time away from the hustle and bustle, I have to be careful not to become too comfortable in my solitude. It's not a bad thing to be alone, but we were meant to bear each other's burdens. We are instructed to encourage each other. "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17
We never have to live the adventure alone. The reality is God wants a relationship with us, and we can depend on him to always be there. He promises, "I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
So, are you Living the Adventure?
The night before my departure I briefly realized this would be my first time in the airport alone. It was not a thought that frightened me. But it did intrigue me. At this point in my life, I know how to get through security and find my gate. My bag was way under fifty pounds, so no worries about what I might have to take out and leave behind in a trash can. Of course, it's always nicer when you get pre-screened and don't have to do anything except take your laptop out of your bag and quickly walk through the metal detector with your shoes on! I still haven't figured out how they choose me for such a wonderful gift, but I gladly accept every time. The point is, I am quite confident about my airport abilities.
Still, I suddenly didn't want to go alone. Not because of fear or anxiety, but because it felt lonely. I've either always travelled with a large group or with my husband. Bless his heart, I don't think he has EVER been chosen for pre-screening and he always has to unlace his shoes, take off his belt, empty his change and keys from his pocket...all that stuff. Then there was the time he forgot the ink pen in his shirt pocket and got the total pat-down-package. I was half-way to the gate before I realized he was still in security rolling his eyes while trying to comply with their demands.
Anyway, there's a sense of security that comes from having someone beside you. Especially on an adventure. Plus, the excitement is multiplied and any anxiety is divided when you have someone to share it with. As I thought about going on my trip alone I realized that's what many of us do in the normal everyday. We try to make it alone. We struggle with our baggage, shifting the weight this way or that every few steps, trying to maintain balance as we navigate the flood of roadblocks along the path. We cocoon away into isolation, thinking we are protecting ourselves. Yet, in reality, we are missing out on exciting conversation with the ones we love or meeting new people who may have much insight and color to pour into us. Hiding from the world, we soon forget who we are, losing our identity we simply exist to breathe, eat, sleep, and do it all another day.
Being on adventure with someone is so much better. I mean, in the airport, it's fun to watch people. And when you're with someone close, you know, someone you don't need words and can just communicate with by a glance, you can watch the people and enjoy all the variety together, with nary a word. When you travel with someone, you can share the $9 sandwich and not feel like you're wasting so much by only eating half. You have someone to watch your coffee when you run to the bathroom one last time before boarding. When you travel with someone, you have someone to lean against when you have to sit by a big, hairy man who is sleeping and leaning toward you on the plane. (Yeah, that's awkward.)
And then I had this thought: God didn't mean for us to go through life alone. He wants to be with us. That's why He gave us the Comforter. His Spirit. Here on earth. He wants us to be on adventure with Him and let him share the good and bad times. He is waiting to be invited and be our companion on this adventure we are living. Of course, I have a song. It goes like this,
No, never alone
No, never alone
He promised never to leave me
Never to leave me alone.
So, friend, we don't have to go it alone. We don't have to carry that sense of loneliness. We have a constant companion in Jesus and he is delighted to walk by our side. While I enjoy time away from the hustle and bustle, I have to be careful not to become too comfortable in my solitude. It's not a bad thing to be alone, but we were meant to bear each other's burdens. We are instructed to encourage each other. "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." Proverbs 27:17
We never have to live the adventure alone. The reality is God wants a relationship with us, and we can depend on him to always be there. He promises, "I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
So, are you Living the Adventure?
Thursday, April 7, 2016
Nothing More Than Wasted Time
I think the title of this post is actually the line of a song The Eagles sang. But it is the story of my life lately. It's been one of those seasons. A desert season. Nothing flowed. Nothing grew. Nothing got me going. I knew there were things I needed to do. Writing being a priority. Yet I didn't have anything to give. Other things seemed to demand my attention, or I gave my attention to nothing at all.
I'm not even sure what this will turn out to be, but I know that today I absolutely M U S T take this keyboard and type. I have an encourager who asked me last night, "What have you written lately?" We talked a bit about what I had been feeling and the battles I had faced. And I knew then, the times, they were a-changing.
A couple weeks ago our pastor asked what we are doing? The sermon was about doing what God has given you to do. I heard it, and I listened, and I sat there saying to myself, "OK, self. Tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow you will write." And I tried. But nothing came. I put words down, but there were no sentences. Turning off the computer, I wondered if I was a misguided soul who had it all wrong. Maybe God wasn't really taking me down this path. Satan was on his way to convincing me that God couldn't use me.
Then I remembered that night when this blog went live and how God had proven to me that this was indeed His plan and He was leading me to write and encourage anyone who would read. Let me share with you what happened last week.
There is a women's conference coming up in less than a month that I am going to speak at. There will be women from several churches speaking. When the lady called to give me my topic, I couldn't help but laugh. My part is about God's salvation when we are stressed. Anyone who know us knows we carry a heavy load. It's funny how that load gets heavier when God has something for you to do or say. It can weigh you down and make you immobile. Stress can attack you physically and mentally. You become trapped and unable to maneuver your way out of the mess that is drowning you.
So, what's stressing you today? What is keeping you from doing God's business? Are you retreating and hiding at home? Are you getting busier with other stuff to avoid the real issue? Has Satan convinced you of your uselessness? If these things are true for you, think about this:
"You better get busy doing what God has for you to do before you become disobedient." That's a quote from that sermon a mentioned earlier. If God has prepared your heart and given you a sincere desire to do something, why are you not doing it? Sure! Someone can do it better. Definitely, someone is smarter. Many people all around you are more creative. I am never going to be a best-selling author. However, I can encourage you today. And it's as simple as that.
Get up, friend. Do it! Whatever the thing is that is burning deep in your heart. That thing you think of every day. That thing you dream about. That thing that keeps you uneasy because not doing it is proving to be disobedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit. David told Solomon as he was commissioning him to build God's temple..."Realize now that the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary. Be strong, and do it." I Chronicles 28:10. Later in I Chronicles 29:20, David says to his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He won't leave you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the Lord's house is finished."
So, my friend, we must apply this to our own lives. Let me encourage you this way: Realize today that the Lord has chosen you for this special path, to do this thing he has laid on your heart, the thing that penetrates your thoughts and dreams. Be strong, and do it. Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, the Lord God, the God who created you for such a time as this, the God who gave you this burning desire of your heart is with you. He absolutely, positively will not leave you. He will not forsake you. He will not bring you to this precipice and abandon you, leaving you to falter and fail or fall off the cliff and perish. He will be beside you lovingly holding your hand and gently prodding you onward until all the work he has prepared you for is finished. Don't you want to be able to stand back and take a look at the finished product? I want to be able to stand back and admire the beautiful piece of art God creates through my obedience to do the work. LET'S DO THIS! You with me?!
I'm not even sure what this will turn out to be, but I know that today I absolutely M U S T take this keyboard and type. I have an encourager who asked me last night, "What have you written lately?" We talked a bit about what I had been feeling and the battles I had faced. And I knew then, the times, they were a-changing.
A couple weeks ago our pastor asked what we are doing? The sermon was about doing what God has given you to do. I heard it, and I listened, and I sat there saying to myself, "OK, self. Tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow you will write." And I tried. But nothing came. I put words down, but there were no sentences. Turning off the computer, I wondered if I was a misguided soul who had it all wrong. Maybe God wasn't really taking me down this path. Satan was on his way to convincing me that God couldn't use me.
Then I remembered that night when this blog went live and how God had proven to me that this was indeed His plan and He was leading me to write and encourage anyone who would read. Let me share with you what happened last week.
There is a women's conference coming up in less than a month that I am going to speak at. There will be women from several churches speaking. When the lady called to give me my topic, I couldn't help but laugh. My part is about God's salvation when we are stressed. Anyone who know us knows we carry a heavy load. It's funny how that load gets heavier when God has something for you to do or say. It can weigh you down and make you immobile. Stress can attack you physically and mentally. You become trapped and unable to maneuver your way out of the mess that is drowning you.
So, what's stressing you today? What is keeping you from doing God's business? Are you retreating and hiding at home? Are you getting busier with other stuff to avoid the real issue? Has Satan convinced you of your uselessness? If these things are true for you, think about this:
"You better get busy doing what God has for you to do before you become disobedient." That's a quote from that sermon a mentioned earlier. If God has prepared your heart and given you a sincere desire to do something, why are you not doing it? Sure! Someone can do it better. Definitely, someone is smarter. Many people all around you are more creative. I am never going to be a best-selling author. However, I can encourage you today. And it's as simple as that.
Get up, friend. Do it! Whatever the thing is that is burning deep in your heart. That thing you think of every day. That thing you dream about. That thing that keeps you uneasy because not doing it is proving to be disobedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit. David told Solomon as he was commissioning him to build God's temple..."Realize now that the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary. Be strong, and do it." I Chronicles 28:10. Later in I Chronicles 29:20, David says to his son, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He won't leave you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the Lord's house is finished."
So, my friend, we must apply this to our own lives. Let me encourage you this way: Realize today that the Lord has chosen you for this special path, to do this thing he has laid on your heart, the thing that penetrates your thoughts and dreams. Be strong, and do it. Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, the Lord God, the God who created you for such a time as this, the God who gave you this burning desire of your heart is with you. He absolutely, positively will not leave you. He will not forsake you. He will not bring you to this precipice and abandon you, leaving you to falter and fail or fall off the cliff and perish. He will be beside you lovingly holding your hand and gently prodding you onward until all the work he has prepared you for is finished. Don't you want to be able to stand back and take a look at the finished product? I want to be able to stand back and admire the beautiful piece of art God creates through my obedience to do the work. LET'S DO THIS! You with me?!
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
The View From the Top
Today I want to encourage you to look back. Where has God brought you from? Let's think about the adventure for a little bit....
When you embark on the adventure to climb a mountain, your goal may simply be to get to the top. Along the way you enjoy the beauty of nature, the birds, the bunnies, maybe even a bear! You breathe deeply of the clean air and see sky so clear it is a new shade of blue. You also find there are hills, valleys, boulders, rivers, cliffs, streams, bridges...so many paths and twists and turns you now clearly understand the importance of knowing the direction you are headed and which path to take so you don't end up lost in the woods for days. Some of the paths are more difficult than others. You might slip on a lose stone and slip and fall. A stick between your feet may trip you or a branch may swing back and slap you in the face. Shoes, wet from falling into the water, wear blisters on your toes and heels. Bridges, old and rickety from many years of weather, creak and groan as you ever so cautiously inch your way across to the other side. Fingers, raw from clawing your way across the boulder that would block your path, bleed and sting.
Descending into the valley and its shadows, you are refreshed by the coolness found under the canopy and enjoy the beautiful foliage hiding from the burning sun. Once again, though, you begin to climb up, up, up the steep, sometimes vertical, face of the mountain. Pressing on, you are almost there. Wondering if you can take another step it becomes necessary to take a break and catch your breath. It is then that you realize you are almost there. It's not much farther now. Sitting there, looking up, you see the goal. The prize. The top of this mountain you have been pursuing for hours.
Inspired, you set out again, taking those last few steps and you are there, legs and lungs burning. The joy and elation of having made it erupts into celebration. Then you stop to look around. The view demands pure and complete silence. Before you is a scene beyond words. From this vantage point, as you listen to the waterfall cascading into the rivers and streams below, the tops of the trees hide the difficulties and roadblocks that slowed you down. You, however, remember very well from whence you came. It wasn't easy. And that brings tears, unexplainable tears. Suddenly the blisters, scrapes, aches, and pains are no longer your focus. You see the beauty and grandeur of this place and know you have accomplished something special and wonderful.
I wonder what your mountain may be? It's been a long time since I have written, and I have a ton of excuses. The truth is, I just haven't done it. I have believed the lie that I didn't have anything to say. Today I picked up my pen and wrote this post. I'm not a mountain climber, but I have been on several beautiful hikes in my life. Some were miserable, some exciting. Some on days that were too hot for such adventures, some on cool days or in the rain. All are good memories.
I don't know who said this, but it is a beautiful quote: "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." Climb that mountain, friend. Press on when you think you can go no further. Don't believe the lies and convince yourself you have nothing to say or nothing to give. Get out and enjoy the adventure that God has given you...and the view from the top!
When you embark on the adventure to climb a mountain, your goal may simply be to get to the top. Along the way you enjoy the beauty of nature, the birds, the bunnies, maybe even a bear! You breathe deeply of the clean air and see sky so clear it is a new shade of blue. You also find there are hills, valleys, boulders, rivers, cliffs, streams, bridges...so many paths and twists and turns you now clearly understand the importance of knowing the direction you are headed and which path to take so you don't end up lost in the woods for days. Some of the paths are more difficult than others. You might slip on a lose stone and slip and fall. A stick between your feet may trip you or a branch may swing back and slap you in the face. Shoes, wet from falling into the water, wear blisters on your toes and heels. Bridges, old and rickety from many years of weather, creak and groan as you ever so cautiously inch your way across to the other side. Fingers, raw from clawing your way across the boulder that would block your path, bleed and sting.
Descending into the valley and its shadows, you are refreshed by the coolness found under the canopy and enjoy the beautiful foliage hiding from the burning sun. Once again, though, you begin to climb up, up, up the steep, sometimes vertical, face of the mountain. Pressing on, you are almost there. Wondering if you can take another step it becomes necessary to take a break and catch your breath. It is then that you realize you are almost there. It's not much farther now. Sitting there, looking up, you see the goal. The prize. The top of this mountain you have been pursuing for hours.
Inspired, you set out again, taking those last few steps and you are there, legs and lungs burning. The joy and elation of having made it erupts into celebration. Then you stop to look around. The view demands pure and complete silence. Before you is a scene beyond words. From this vantage point, as you listen to the waterfall cascading into the rivers and streams below, the tops of the trees hide the difficulties and roadblocks that slowed you down. You, however, remember very well from whence you came. It wasn't easy. And that brings tears, unexplainable tears. Suddenly the blisters, scrapes, aches, and pains are no longer your focus. You see the beauty and grandeur of this place and know you have accomplished something special and wonderful.
I wonder what your mountain may be? It's been a long time since I have written, and I have a ton of excuses. The truth is, I just haven't done it. I have believed the lie that I didn't have anything to say. Today I picked up my pen and wrote this post. I'm not a mountain climber, but I have been on several beautiful hikes in my life. Some were miserable, some exciting. Some on days that were too hot for such adventures, some on cool days or in the rain. All are good memories.
I don't know who said this, but it is a beautiful quote: "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." Climb that mountain, friend. Press on when you think you can go no further. Don't believe the lies and convince yourself you have nothing to say or nothing to give. Get out and enjoy the adventure that God has given you...and the view from the top!
Thursday, January 14, 2016
What were YOUR resolutions?
We are half-way through the month of January. Have you kept your resolutions? Did you even make any? A new year is a good time to make some changes, but much of the time we make those decisions under the pressure of advertisements and the crowd around us. Perhaps you resolved, like a large percentage of the population, to lose weight. Whether you want to lose 100 pounds or 10, it requires work. Or maybe you decided to not focus on the weight-loss, but on your health. Did you declare that you would walk daily? Start going to Zumba classes? Join a gym? Try yoga?
Are you still doing the things you set out to do as the new year began? It was easy that first week, wasn't it? Motivation to succeed moved you to make good choices. Sadly, the majority of us who make New Year's Resolutions fail to live up to the goals we established, and most of us are probably eating ice cream instead of Greek yogurt, scrolling through Pinterest instead of walking, or watching TV when we could be reading a really good book.
The truth is, we must daily decide what we will accomplish and how we will take care of ourselves. Being the best you can be is a gift you give yourself. It isn't about how you look; it's about who you are. No one can gift you the best of you except for you!
I think the best decision I made starting the new year was to read some classic literature. I spent some Google time and made a list of books I would like to start with. My first piece was Robinson Crusoe and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Yesterday I was trying to give my husband a synopsis of the story and was so excited and caught up in it I realized I sounded like a silly school girl and that my ramblings meant little to him but much to me. Today I will say it is my new favorite book...until I read something else that will, most likely, take its place. Next I will be reading The Hiding Place. I read it many, many years ago. I have a friend who met Corrie ten Boom once, which makes her story a little more real to me now. I look forward to visiting Miss Corrie again as I read the pages of her story.
Yes, I did decide to lose weight this year. I decide that every night. Tomorrow is a new day. Like my twin friends say, thank God his mercies are new every Monday! Seriously, though, taking care of yourself by eating well and moving more is an important matter. But can I be honest here? When it is so cold outside, I want warm, comforting, creamy soup and hot, crusty bread - not apples and lettuce! I did eat a salad for lunch yesterday, though. And it WAS good. But a big bowl of cream of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich would have been better! HA! To be brutally honest, my wallet needs me to follow through here because I can't afford to purchase a new wardrobe. Yes, I know, comforting food can be prepared wisely and in a healthy fashion. I will start working on that today as I cook dinner.
Be good to yourself, my friend. I am deciding to be good to myself every day. Life is too precious and far too short to let the days waste away wishing I had treated myself better. Instead of wishing I "had done" I am going to get out my list of things I want to do and start marking them off. It's not a bucket list. It's simply a list of things that need to happen and/or things I want to do. Things like painting the front door and the chest in the foyer. When we get a day that warms the attic enough, I'm cleaning all that junk out of there! I am going to enjoy this life while I have it. May I challenge you to do the same?
Don't beat yourself up because you have already dropped the ball and fallen back into your old ways. Get up and plow forward. Decide now to do that thing you are dreaming of and find a way to make it happen! I am!
Are you still doing the things you set out to do as the new year began? It was easy that first week, wasn't it? Motivation to succeed moved you to make good choices. Sadly, the majority of us who make New Year's Resolutions fail to live up to the goals we established, and most of us are probably eating ice cream instead of Greek yogurt, scrolling through Pinterest instead of walking, or watching TV when we could be reading a really good book.
The truth is, we must daily decide what we will accomplish and how we will take care of ourselves. Being the best you can be is a gift you give yourself. It isn't about how you look; it's about who you are. No one can gift you the best of you except for you!
I think the best decision I made starting the new year was to read some classic literature. I spent some Google time and made a list of books I would like to start with. My first piece was Robinson Crusoe and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Yesterday I was trying to give my husband a synopsis of the story and was so excited and caught up in it I realized I sounded like a silly school girl and that my ramblings meant little to him but much to me. Today I will say it is my new favorite book...until I read something else that will, most likely, take its place. Next I will be reading The Hiding Place. I read it many, many years ago. I have a friend who met Corrie ten Boom once, which makes her story a little more real to me now. I look forward to visiting Miss Corrie again as I read the pages of her story.
Yes, I did decide to lose weight this year. I decide that every night. Tomorrow is a new day. Like my twin friends say, thank God his mercies are new every Monday! Seriously, though, taking care of yourself by eating well and moving more is an important matter. But can I be honest here? When it is so cold outside, I want warm, comforting, creamy soup and hot, crusty bread - not apples and lettuce! I did eat a salad for lunch yesterday, though. And it WAS good. But a big bowl of cream of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich would have been better! HA! To be brutally honest, my wallet needs me to follow through here because I can't afford to purchase a new wardrobe. Yes, I know, comforting food can be prepared wisely and in a healthy fashion. I will start working on that today as I cook dinner.
Be good to yourself, my friend. I am deciding to be good to myself every day. Life is too precious and far too short to let the days waste away wishing I had treated myself better. Instead of wishing I "had done" I am going to get out my list of things I want to do and start marking them off. It's not a bucket list. It's simply a list of things that need to happen and/or things I want to do. Things like painting the front door and the chest in the foyer. When we get a day that warms the attic enough, I'm cleaning all that junk out of there! I am going to enjoy this life while I have it. May I challenge you to do the same?
Don't beat yourself up because you have already dropped the ball and fallen back into your old ways. Get up and plow forward. Decide now to do that thing you are dreaming of and find a way to make it happen! I am!
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