What Can I Do?

I may have mentioned before the devotion book I bought for this year. I wanted something with a short, one page only, bit of encouragement and Bible verse to support the writing. So I took myself to the local Christian bookstore and started looking. There were classics and mega-popular authors to choose from. There were some that were overly simplified. Some were specifically for moms of toddlers or teens. Some were for singles. Some for widows. There were some that just didn't grab me, you know? And there was this book. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover (even though it is so pretty!), so I opened the pages. I thumbed through and read snippets here and there. This book grabbed me. It seemed perfect. Just what I was looking for. I think it is safe to say God had these women write this book just for me. Thanks, ladies!


There have been many pages that struck my heart strings this year. Many times when I felt the Holy Spirit pouring over me either comfort, conviction, or the encouragement I was looking for.  Then there was that day last week. I shared this quote as a FB post, but I want to share about it with you here.


"You don't have to have confidence in what you can do - only in what He can accomplish through you." It goes on to say, "What do you feel your purpose is? Open your heart and mind to a limitless God. Believe, deep in your heart, the fullness of His limitless capability for you. Pray on that, take steps, and watch Him fulfill your meaningful purpose." (A Little God Time for Women, published by BroadStreet Publishing)


What can I do? Not much. I can waste time like no other. I am a good cook if we ever stay home long enough to have a meal there. I can trip over air or a stone and fly through the air like Wonder Woman before I land hard and hurt myself. I can get involved in a show and watch it for too long. I can struggle making this list...even though I am pretty good at making lists.


What does God want me to do? Yeah, I know, that stings. Mostly because He calls us to do things we think are impossible. Moses couldn't speak well, and Noah needed an ark, why? David was just a kid when he faced his giant. Mary, well, she was a virgin. And then there is me. And there is you. We must seek God's face. What passion has he placed in your heart? I know mine. You're reading it now.


I long to encourage people in their walk with Christ. Satan reminds me daily of my failures and convinces me that because of them, my words are useless. WRONG! It is because I'm a failure I can encourage you. It is because I feel so useless that God can use me. It is because God has given you that passion you should step up and DO IT!


This blog is not an accident. I remember that first day so vividly. Encouraged by others, I clicked the button. Encouraged by others, I began to share my heart. Facing cancer, it became a convenient place to share my experiences. Then the whispers came - you have nothing to share, nothing to give, nothing of value that could possibly help anyone. You don't have time, you messed up again, you can't do this.


Over the past year I have faced attacks straight from the mouths of people I trusted. Things were said and done that broke my heart - and my spirit. Satan used the hateful insults to weaken me, reminding me of them again and again. I caved in to the lies whispered in the darkness, convinced I had been fooling myself, God didn't really want me, I was of no use, I couldn't do anything right.


That's right, I can't. But God can. So, since He has given me the passion to write and encourage you - even through my failures - I will. Honestly? I don't have much confidence in what I can do. But I believe God can use me if I am willing to obey.


Today, I want to encourage YOU to trust the Lord and make yourself available. This post may be a little long. You need to know that I was driven to open the page several days ago and write ---- having no idea what I would say. I put it off until today, and still had no idea what I would say. It's a turning point for me.


So, here you are, reading some raw and honest truth from my heart. Won't you take a little time today to be still, and KNOW that He is God. Listen carefully to the truths He speaks over you...and refuse to listen to the whispers of your enemy. Maybe you are like me and know your purpose but have been avoiding it. Avoid no longer, my sister! Psalm 56:9 says, "This I know, that God is for me!" Praise the Lord!