Walking on Water

In my devotion this morning the Lord pressed His truth upon my heart. As I prayed and talked to Him about some deeply personal and tender issues, all I could think about was the song, Oceans. I couldn't help but think that when He calls me out upon the water, I must learn from Peter and keep my eyes on Jesus. Remember? Good ol' Peter. Caught in a windstorm in a boat in the middle of a lake, Peter looks out and sees someone...what is that? A man? Walking on the water? Jesus, is that you? Are you walking on top of the water? If it's you, Lord, I want to come too! And he did. He walked on water...as long as he kept his focus on the one who had called him. It was when Peter took his eyes off Jesus that he began to sink.

Have you ever been there? In a storm, tossed to and fro, fearful of what will be? Or maybe you have been in a different kind of storm...a storm that brings words skillfully aimed to hurt you. Or maybe you have had to face a medical diagnosis that brought more questions than answers. Or, just maybe, everything seemed to come at you at once and you were like that little ship tossed about in the wind, unable to control the direction of your life or the direction from which the next strong gust of wind destined to blow you off course would come. Me too. I mean, really, who can control the wind? I've been through all of them.

Through it all, Jesus wants us to follow Him. To step out of the perceived safety of our known environment and go where He leads. To step out upon the water. "Come." That was what He said to Peter. "Come," is the same thing He says to me. And to you.

Sometimes our storms last for years. During that time it is so easy to lose our focus. Instead of keeping our eyes on Jesus and walking toward Him, we start looking around trying to dodge the next crashing wave or stand up to the crippling force of the wind. We start to sink. We find ourselves drowning in the bitterness, fear, and heartache that overwhelms us. The pressure builds around us and painfully crushes us. We slip deeper into the darkness.

Let's be like Peter. When he started sinking he called out to the Lord. Call out to the Lord today. Tell him your troubles and struggles. Reach out and take His hand. Let's put fear behind us and step out upon the water, keeping our eyes on Jesus lest we surely drown.

When the Unexpected Comes Your Way

Before you start reading this, I must tell you there is so much going through my brain that I want to share with you, I pray it comes out clearly and isn't a massive jumble of words and thoughts!

It's been almost two months since our life took another unexpected turn. It was February 18th when I went for what I expected to be a routine mammogram, ended up in ultrasound, and then had a biopsy. Then on March 8th I had the surgery to remove the second round of cancer from my body.

I want you to know I have no regrets. In fact, I am quite relieved. The cancer is gone. There is little chance of it returning because this time we found it super early and there were no lymph nodes involved. But you know all that.

I want to share with you today a little bit about how God has used this in my life. I'll be very honest. My first question was, really? Why? I had just made my five year mark from my first diagnosis. One of my doctors had even released me the week before because I had done so well. This time God chose to answer my question as to why.

I was reading my Bible a couple of weeks ago and came across a section of scripture I've read often over the years. That day, however, it came to life for me in a way I had never experienced. Don't you love it when that happens?! It was like God had a spotlight shining on it and a big flashing arrow pointing to it so that I wouldn't miss it. Here's the scripture:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Paul goes on to say that he had been going through some particularly tough afflictions. He was going through something so bad that he was in fear of his life...

Verse 9-10 Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

When I read that my heart rejoiced! I knew God was speaking to me. You see, there is one thing we cannot control. Well, two. Death and taxes. I can't control when I will die or what will kill me. Will it be cancer? A car wreck? Old age? (That topic's getting a little touchy since I will be 60! in a couple of weeks.) Influenza? A random accident? A blood clot? Who knows? Only God. He knows the days of my life as well as he knows every cell of my body. He knows the plans he has for me.

And a second battle with cancer was in his plan. His plan is that I go through this again so I can reach out to tell you my story. I apologize now if you get tired of hearing it, but it's what he has given me. By telling my story other women (and men) will be encouraged. He has comforted me....I am to comfort the people I meet.

Almost from the moment I received my diagnosis on February 20th a song started running through my thoughts. It's an old song. One of those seasonal hymns we sang in the old days when a missionary was coming to speak or when someone was leaving to go to Africa. (Because when I was little it seemed like anyone who was going to missions was going to Africa or somewhere equally as remote and far away.)

The song goes like this:
Verse 1
We've a story to tell to the nations,
That shall turn their hearts to the right,
A story of truth and mercy,
A story of peace and light,
A story of  peace and light.

Refrain
For the darkness shall turn to dawning,
And the dawning to noonday bright;
And Christ's great kingdom shall come on earth,
The kingdom of love and light.

So, my friend, let me say this, it's all in how we look at it. Would I have chosen this journey again? Well, no. Yet, here I am. And I realize this journey will never be over, for it is the path chosen for me by my Savior. The path I am to walk to reflect his peace and light to the world around me. For only when you have walked through something that causes you to know you are not the one in control will you experience the peace and light. It is a peace that honestly and truthfully surpasses all understanding. I can't explain it to you. It's an experience that cannot be shared with words. I also know that I know that God's light is shining on my path. He gave me that promise in Psalm 119.

So, what are you going through? Cancer? Maybe not, but I can promise you that if you turn to the Lord and rely on him, he will comfort you.

In case you're wondering, this surgery hasn't been an awful recovery, but I've had some struggles. I developed a seroma and have had a couple weeks of trying to keep this fluid drained out of my body. I haven't felt well, and I have stayed on the couch a lot. Tomorrow I think we will finally take this drain out. And then the final stage of my healing can begin!

Now that I've said all that, what I want to leave with you is this. I want you to know I trust the Lord completely and he has comforted me in beautiful and glorious ways over the last couple of months. He has heard your prayers. He has held my hand when things weren't going like I wanted them to go. I want you to know my hope is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth. There is nothing I can do to change my situation. I can't undo the cancer. For today, though, I choose to live the best life I can, even in the hardest of times. I rely on God, because I can't do anything about it even if I tried.

Finally, I want you to know this, I give him glory for giving me another chance to say, "Thank you, God, for choosing me."

When Life Turns Upside Down

About three weeks ago I pulled out my journal and started to write. I didn't write much. It was a day when I was tired and not feeling too well. As it turns out the notes I made were written on the wrong side of the page and upside down. As I was looking for the ribbon marker attached at the top to mark my page and close the book, I had to giggle. I had totally flipped! Perhaps in more ways than one. 

Some days life is like that. We have big plans, as I did for that day, but we wake up feeling bad or something unplanned crops up and we find things all topsy-turvy. To be honest, I spend a lot of days that way, just doing what has to be done and leaving all my well thought out plans for another day. 

Here's the thing. The next day when I wrote in my journal, I started at the correct spot on the correct page at the correct top. It was my tomorrow - my new day. We say it so much I fear it has or might become cliché, but it is so beautifully true. His (God's) mercies are new every morning! Let's remind ourselves of the entire verse:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23) As Matthew Henry stated, "Bad as things are, it is owing to the mercy of God that they are not worse." 

Can I get an AMEN?!?! 

So, friend, if your world is upside down to the point you are writing on the wrong page on the wrong side at the wrong top, remind yourself as the prophet did so many years ago and never lose hope, God's love is faithful and true. No matter how bad things get, His love will NEVER end. Oh, and that word mercy - well it simply means compassion, tender love. God loves you...today...and tomorrow! If no one else does, HE cares. Great is his faithfulness!

Thankful for the Reminder

So, I haven't posted since August. And it's been a crazy few months. I've had several ideas and thoughts I wanted to share with you, but, for whatever reason, I just never did. However, today I need to share with you.
On Sunday I will have been surviving cancer for five years. Five years! That's a big deal. A milestone. The year survivors look forward to. I completed my treatments in September, but I began surviving in January. We will have another celebration when September comes! I am so thankful and happy to be at this point. It's not been easy, but I had such wonderful people who got me through. God surrounded me with people who encouraged me in so many ways. If you sent me a card, I still have it - with the date I received it written on the back. They are in a box on my closet shelf. I will keep them forever. (More on one particular group of friends later.) There are things about me that will never be the same as they were before cancer. I will always wonder when I feel a new pain. I will always dread this time of year when I am going to get my mammogram. I will probably always be a little more tired - or we could blame that on my upcoming 60th birthday! (Oh my goodness! How did I get to be 60??) I will always have a different view of what really is important during my day.
Over the last few days as I have been looking ahead to doctor visits and checkups and the ever-so-enjoyable mammogram, which, by the way is even less enjoyable when they are compressing scar tissue left from the surgery and radiation, I face the what-ifs. What if they didn't get it all? What if it comes back? What if my mammogram shows something? They are questions we face when we have had our bodies invaded by this horrible disease. I should tell you, though, that last year I got the same standard form letter as normal ladies who have a normal mammogram and it felt wonderful to get something so impersonal! AND! And my doctor told me she would just see me once a year on the day I have my mammogram so I don't have to worry about it until a letter comes in the mail. How sweet is that!?!?
But God.
Oh, there is so much I want to tell you! God has been so gracious to me this week. I'll try to keep it short, but no promises. Where do I start? Let's just start with Monday, but to do that we must look back to Sunday. At our small group meeting on Sunday we were asked to share a prayer request close to our hearts. I expressed my feelings about this time of year and asked for prayer for continued healing for myself and healing for someone close to me going through treatment. On Monday I knew my friends were praying. I had a peace that had been missing. God was reminding me that He is close and knows every detail of my life. I think it was on Tuesday when I was doing my devotion that all the scripture I turned to was a gentle yet firm reminder from God that He hasn't forgotten me. On Wednesday I saw the NP who will examine me next Wednesday in the hallway at Memorial Hospital and she greeted me with a huge smile and a hug. Later that day I found that one of my favorite authors does a weekly fifteen minute FB Live devotion.  Guess what. This week she was speaking on fear. Thursday, God gave me a renewed confidence and a reminder that I simply need to believe Him.
Then we come to today. Five years ago I was working with my beautiful GES family when I got my devastating news. They lifted me up and stood by me through that second half of the school year while I was on chemo. (There were many others in my life who loved and supported me too, but these were the people I was with for at least eight hours of the day.) I don't go visit the school often since I retired. I, honestly, stay pretty busy. So, since I wasn't aware of any reason in my life to just randomly up and go to GES today, God sent a friend all the way from California to get me there. I met her the first year I worked in the office. We spent that summer on the phone as she and her husband were getting ready to move here. I looked forward to her calls and questions, and when they arrived, it was a joy to get to know her family. They moved back to California many years ago, but she had an opportunity to come east this week so she called me and said she wanted to go see the new school. I worked it out for us to go.  We did that today.
Folks, Graysville Elementary may be in a impressively big, new, modern facility with state-of-the-art everything and you may not have to trudge up a hill to the front door and be so out of breath you can't tell the receptionist what you are there for once you get inside, but those people haven't changed. Everyone I talked to asked me how I am doing, meaning am I still kicking cancer's butt. They rejoiced with me when I told them I am well and looking forward to my celebration on Sunday. They hugged me and loved me. I so desperately needed that today. I needed a reminder that I am not alone nor am I forgotten.
On January 20, 2014, I went for a routine mammogram. The same girl had done mine for years, so when she got a strong look of concern and sent me straight for an ultrasound, I knew. The gal who did the ultrasound wouldn't talk to me or look me in the eye. When she told me the radiologist would call me at 3:00 that afternoon, I knew. I just knew. I went home and told my husband, "I have cancer." From there it was a whirlwind of appointments, and twenty-six days later I got my port and started chemo. It was Valentine's Day. (It would have been sooner, but that was the year of the ice storms that shut down the city.)
I have been surviving cancer for five years. I had my nails painted bright pink today to celebrate. I may go tomorrow and buy a new pink outfit to wear to church Sunday. I just might get a tattoo Sunday - still thinking about it. I believe God led me through my cancer journey to give me a new outlook on life and to encourage others who may have to take the journey. There are more and more people on this road. Within the last few months four people very close to me have been diagnosed. One I found out about a few short weeks ago. One I just heard about yesterday. One was my own mother. (Who, by the way, finished her treatment yesterday and is encouraged by her doctors with a positive outlook.)
Today, friend, I want to encourage you to believe God. Believe He can do a big work in your life. Your journey may not be down the cancer road, still He walks with you. We see in the Bible that God reminds the Israelites to look back and remember what He brought them through and to tell about it. We can't forget. We can't stop giving Him the glory He so richly deserves. Tell someone about your journey with God today. Let Him remind you how far you have come. Believe Him, for He cares for you and He will carry your through.
My verse for my cancer journey was Matthew 9:28. The two blind me had been following Jesus and crying out for healing. Jesus looked at them and said, "Do you believe I am able to do this?" Their simple answer was, "Yes, Lord." I believe. Oh I believe! And I am so thankful for the reminder of all He has done for me.

When God Calls You Out

Imagine yourself floating lazily down a calm and peaceful river. The summer sun is still hot. The promise of autumn is in the air. There's a little chill to the water now, perfectly complementing the hot sun. The cicadas are singing their song. The sky is perfectly blue, and just like you on the water, the fluffy white clouds are gently moving across the sky.


Then come the rapids. You have to be alert and aware. You can't just lie back and ignore them or you may end up in a dire situation.


So it is with life. We get comfortable. Life is good. As the song says, "everything's going my way." We do it in our walk with Christ. We get up and go to church. But are we serving the Lord in the way He intended? I heard a convicting quote on the radio this week. It went something like this: You have to be responsible to do the task God has given you.


So what has He given you? That's a question only you can answer after you spend some time allowing God to shine His light into (what you think are) the hidden recesses of your heart. He's been doing that for me, and daily the wattage gets brighter and brighter - blinding, in fact! I'm at the point now where I feel like I'm standing in a spotlight as God reveals His truth and shows me His way.


I still feel inadequate for some of this stuff. The truth is, there is always going to be someone better at something than I am or you are. That isn't the point. The point is, God has given me this task. So I will do it. I can procrastinate. I can use all the delay tactics I have learned throughout life. You know, like a kid at bed time - I need a glass of water...I'm hungry....I need to use the restroom....Read me a story...There's a monster under my bed...excuses. Simply and explicitly, EXCUSES!


So, friends, as I encourage you to accept the responsibility for the task God has given you, you can encourage me. Specifically, I ask you to pray. Pray for me to have the confidence which we learned earlier this week is not in myself, but in what God can do through me. I'll be praying the same for you.

What Can I Do?

I may have mentioned before the devotion book I bought for this year. I wanted something with a short, one page only, bit of encouragement and Bible verse to support the writing. So I took myself to the local Christian bookstore and started looking. There were classics and mega-popular authors to choose from. There were some that were overly simplified. Some were specifically for moms of toddlers or teens. Some were for singles. Some for widows. There were some that just didn't grab me, you know? And there was this book. I know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover (even though it is so pretty!), so I opened the pages. I thumbed through and read snippets here and there. This book grabbed me. It seemed perfect. Just what I was looking for. I think it is safe to say God had these women write this book just for me. Thanks, ladies!


There have been many pages that struck my heart strings this year. Many times when I felt the Holy Spirit pouring over me either comfort, conviction, or the encouragement I was looking for.  Then there was that day last week. I shared this quote as a FB post, but I want to share about it with you here.


"You don't have to have confidence in what you can do - only in what He can accomplish through you." It goes on to say, "What do you feel your purpose is? Open your heart and mind to a limitless God. Believe, deep in your heart, the fullness of His limitless capability for you. Pray on that, take steps, and watch Him fulfill your meaningful purpose." (A Little God Time for Women, published by BroadStreet Publishing)


What can I do? Not much. I can waste time like no other. I am a good cook if we ever stay home long enough to have a meal there. I can trip over air or a stone and fly through the air like Wonder Woman before I land hard and hurt myself. I can get involved in a show and watch it for too long. I can struggle making this list...even though I am pretty good at making lists.


What does God want me to do? Yeah, I know, that stings. Mostly because He calls us to do things we think are impossible. Moses couldn't speak well, and Noah needed an ark, why? David was just a kid when he faced his giant. Mary, well, she was a virgin. And then there is me. And there is you. We must seek God's face. What passion has he placed in your heart? I know mine. You're reading it now.


I long to encourage people in their walk with Christ. Satan reminds me daily of my failures and convinces me that because of them, my words are useless. WRONG! It is because I'm a failure I can encourage you. It is because I feel so useless that God can use me. It is because God has given you that passion you should step up and DO IT!


This blog is not an accident. I remember that first day so vividly. Encouraged by others, I clicked the button. Encouraged by others, I began to share my heart. Facing cancer, it became a convenient place to share my experiences. Then the whispers came - you have nothing to share, nothing to give, nothing of value that could possibly help anyone. You don't have time, you messed up again, you can't do this.


Over the past year I have faced attacks straight from the mouths of people I trusted. Things were said and done that broke my heart - and my spirit. Satan used the hateful insults to weaken me, reminding me of them again and again. I caved in to the lies whispered in the darkness, convinced I had been fooling myself, God didn't really want me, I was of no use, I couldn't do anything right.


That's right, I can't. But God can. So, since He has given me the passion to write and encourage you - even through my failures - I will. Honestly? I don't have much confidence in what I can do. But I believe God can use me if I am willing to obey.


Today, I want to encourage YOU to trust the Lord and make yourself available. This post may be a little long. You need to know that I was driven to open the page several days ago and write ---- having no idea what I would say. I put it off until today, and still had no idea what I would say. It's a turning point for me.


So, here you are, reading some raw and honest truth from my heart. Won't you take a little time today to be still, and KNOW that He is God. Listen carefully to the truths He speaks over you...and refuse to listen to the whispers of your enemy. Maybe you are like me and know your purpose but have been avoiding it. Avoid no longer, my sister! Psalm 56:9 says, "This I know, that God is for me!" Praise the Lord!

Dry and Weary

I think there is a song that goes something like this, In a dry and weary land, You are the water, You are the water...


I may have it all wrong. If I do, I'll just write the song... Because I've been in the desert for too long. You know the feeling of choking you have when you are SO thirsty - when your nose AND throat are dry and your tongue feels ten sizes bigger than normal...? That's the way my life has felt lately. In fact, to be brutally honest, just the other day I was so dry I could only sit before the Lord with my head in my hands. I couldn't pray. I couldn't cry. I couldn't sing. I could only sit.


I started out like the Psalmist in Psalm 77:4 - You hold my eyelids open: I am so troubled that I cannot speak. Truly, it was all I could do just to sit in His presence, but I knew I must. It was clear to me this was a turning point. As I sat there, His love rushed over me. It was like the dam upstream began with a series of cracks before bursting open. The healing waters of the love of God refreshed my dry soul, my cracked and hurting heart. My parched lips began to sing. My broken heart began to heal. You know that flood waters can be dangerous, right? Strangely enough, in this flood I was able to stand taller, stronger, and completely balanced. My feet weren't sinking in mud or being swept out from under me. I was on solid ground.


I picked up my Bible and began to read. Scriptures JUMPED off the page! Beautiful things like this:


Isaiah 43: 18-19 Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing and it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.


Isaiah 42: 8-9 I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. Behold the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.


And this:


Psalm 16:11 You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.


I honestly had gotten to the point of feeling I had no words, just like the scripture I quoted above. I had no words to converse. To teach. To write. To encourage. I was dried up and cracking like the ground in a long drought. Psalm 107:9 says, He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. You see,


Only Jesus can satisfy your soul!
Only He can change your heart and make you whole;
He'll give you peace you never knew,
sweet love and joy and heaven too,
for only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
(Lanny Wolfe)


As Jesus poured over me and His healing water refreshed my aching soul, He has given me direction. I am so excited about the future! He has plans for me and continues to reveal them to me daily. My desert has turned into an oasis. Psalm 107:35 - He turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water.


So, may I encourage you? If you are feeling alone and dried up, just sit down, put your head in your hands and let God pour over you. Let Him satisfy your soul.

Riding the Rapids

Some of you probably read that title and thought, "HA! Not Vicki." Well, you are exactly right. Not this girl! It makes me weak-kneed just to think about it. I do, however, see some parallels of the sport  to my life ... and maybe yours as well.


The adventures of my life change on a daily basis. Sometimes they are quite mundane and a little bit boring. Like a lazy day floating in a pool soaking up the sun. Sometimes they are demanding and require a lot of my time. Sometimes they are great adventures on the road escaping the day-to-day world. And sometimes I feel like I've been caught in the whirlpool in the Inga Rapids on the Congo River. (Look it up. There's a super cool photo of a guy in a green kayak caught in a whirlpool. THAT'S how I feel sometimes.)

I have learned that rapids are graded by classification from I to VI. To put it simply, they occur in the shallower flow of the river and need those big rocks to help them form. Those of us who live in east Tennessee might remember watching the Olympic course be constructed on the Ocoee River. They brought in and built huge boulders to make that section of the river just what it needed to be. Some names of rapids people actually enjoy riding are: Terminator, Godzilla, Stairway to Heaven, Gates of Inferno, and even God's House - which is where I would be if I tried it! There is a section of Class V whitewater in Chile 14 miles long that is referred to as "long, wild, and inescapable rapids." 

Does your life ever feel like that? Like you are rushing 20 mph down a roaring river with rocks and tree trunks jutting out at you as you hold on to a single paddle in an inflatable boat, trying to navigate your way around the danger? People actually call this fun!

There's a bit of an adventurer in each of us. Life is the grand adventure. It gets scary sometimes, and it may feel out of control a lot of times. Whatever life throws at us, we can be like the trained, learned, and skillfully prepared people who can and do launch a vessel into, and love the ride down, the river.

We can train and prepare ourselves for the adventures of life. First, we need proper attire. The Bible tells us to put on the WHOLE armor of God. You wouldn't get up on Monday morning and only put your shoes on before heading out the door, would you? We must dress properly. Do you realize that each piece of the armor God gives us equips us to move forward?  It's not intended for us to retreat. We are meant to face life and live it! 

Second, we must have proper knowledge. If, and that's a BIG I F, I were to lose my mind and decide to go rafting, I would certainly seek out a company and a guide who know all there is to know about the subject. I would want someone who had studied the river, who had experienced the river. I would want someone who loved what they were doing and had done it multiples of times. I promise you I would never get in a raft with a first-time tour guide! Our knowledge comes from reading God's Word and listening as he speaks to us through it. We can't let the dust settle on it. We must read it daily and learn all we can.

The third thing we must have is proper equipment. God gives us that with our armor. He gives us the sword that will split to the marrow and find the truth. He gives us a helmet to protect us from blows meant to cause us to doubt and question. He gives us a shield to protect us from the fiery darts the enemy hurls at us. Which brings us to prayer.

We stand on the banks of the rivers and cheer on the rafters. We encourage them to keep going. As we pray, we encourage each other. I have personally experienced the power of prayer. There have been times when I thought I couldn't, but because people were praying for me, I could - and did. I have seen the power of prayer so many times. From safety to provision, God has answered.

At the end of the day, when the sun is setting and the river ride is over, there is an exhilaration of accomplishment and achievement that comes to the rafter. There are also sore muscles, sunburn, scrapes, and bruises. I know because I am not totally without experience. In my younger years, when I was less afraid of the results of injury, I tubed and rafted the Hiwassee...several times even! I am very proud of a scar on my leg from one of the adventures. Yeah, it's a low-level rapid, but it was a big deal for me. And because I had those experiences I can understand the feelings of accomplishment and achievement.  I also understand the exhaustion and hunger it produces as well.

The point to all this is, life is an adventure! We never know, from day to day, what lies in store. Even our best laid plans can be changed or even canceled in the blink of an eye. As my friend says, "It's all good." It IS all good when God is in control and you are following him. No matter how turbulent the waters, He will carry you through. Lean on him. He's a great adventure guide!

A few thoughts from my journal...

Toward the end of 2017 I decided I needed a new devotion book. I wanted something that had a verse and a paragraph of encouragement to start my day. Something not too entailed because I spend a lot of time studying anyway and I simply didn't need to add to that. I did however, need something to boost my personal devotion and prayer time. So I went to the store.


I stood in front of the shelf and read over the various titles. True, you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but I did. I found a pretty little book. It had everything I was looking for (more than I imagined!) so I picked it up and headed for the checkout counter.


When January 1 rolled around, I was diligent to pick up my new little book and read the verse and thought for the day. As the days passed, I realized this was more than a casual purchase. I believe God had them make the cover pretty so I would pick it up! He had spoken through these writers and had them pen words He would use to penetrate my heart daily. I stand amazed in His presence as He uses the words these ladies wrote and applies them to my life. Sometimes the application is one of encouragement. Sometimes it is a direct piercing hit to reveal something I need to correct. Sometimes it soothes like the healing balm of Gilead.


I've been copying short portions in my journal along with the scriptures God gives me, and I am loving going back and seeing how God is working. On a particular day back in February, I wrote down several passages. Then I wrote this:


As I was praying this morning, the Lord impressed this truth upon my heart: Tend to yourself. Gently and lovingly. Like you would tend the most fragile plant in the garden. Tools must be sharp. The ground fertile and soft. Water, fresh. Continually drink up the water. You must in order to grow stronger roots. From those deep, strong roots will grow strong stems and leaves, pushing their way upward toward the sun.


You see, life gets busy. Crazy busy at this house! We have obligations and demands placed upon us from many sides. We go, go, go. We hurry to get to the next thing. We fall in bed late at night, sometimes having eaten dinner way later than anyone ever should. Then we get up early to make the appointments that must be kept. To do the chores that are required. To get to the places that need us there. And we ignore our own needs.


A couple of days later I wrote this:


I feel like the old toy train we had way back when. We would rev up the speed, and without fail it would derail. Then we had to take time to set each car upright, getting the wheels set on the track, connecting them together, before we could enjoy the fun again. Until we turned up the speed and watched it crash yet again.


I share my journal with you to encourage you. We all live crazy busy lives. Take some time to stop and let God pour over you. Soak up the living water. Listen to His truth. Allow Him to set you back upright on the path He has called you to follow.

God Cracks Me Up!

Krispy Kreme. The words alone can cause you to drool.


Hot Donuts Now! The sign alone is reason to consume a dozen .... at least.


My favorite is the chocolate-iced cream-filled. As the saying goes, how sweet it is!


For the sake of absolute honesty, I must confess here that I am a stress eater. Comfort food is called comfort food for a reason! For some, it's chips and dip. Sometimes chicken and dumplings. Sometimes French fries. Ice cream. Coke. A thick, juicy burger...what's your weakness?


Anyway, my husband and I lead a very hectic, very busy life. We have some heavy responsibilities and obligations. There are days the load gets heavy. On those days, comfort food calls my name.


Recently, after a particularly stressful day, I just wanted a donut. I was close to home and considered driving all the way back to town to get a fresh one. Instead, I decided to stop in the grocery store and get one from the display there. Since we're being honest, I got two. (I said is was a particularly stressful day.) I was tempted to eat them both on the one mile drive from the store to my house....but I restrained myself.


Coffee. These donuts and a cup of coffee were going to relieve all my stress and solve all my problems!


I got home, made the coffee, grabbed the bag of TWO donuts and headed to the couch. I pulled the first donut out and bit into it. Anticipation of the sweetness... the chocolate... the cream... was SO close to becoming my blissful reality.


Until I bit into custard filling. Custard! I didn't want custard. I don't like custard. I wanted the white, fluffy cream filling. Oh what a disappointment. Not to be outdone, I put that donut back into the bag and pulled out the second.


One more bite and my disappointment ballooned by immeasurable proportions! Ugh! Now what!?! Here I am in my pajamas now, my coffee is getting cold, and my stress is increased because I have custard filled donuts.


That's when I started giggling. I've been trying to eliminate sugar and junk from my diet. Not quite successfully, but trying. Then I started laughing. Because I realized that I had prayed and asked God to help me with this problem I have of not eating so healthy and loving the donuts.


Friend, I ended up laughing and laughing and praising and praising my God! I KNOW I got those donuts off the right tray. You see, I KNOW that because I KNOW there are two - cream and custard, and I DO NOT LIKE the custard. So I am careful to look at what I am getting.


But God. I don't think he reached down and changed the donuts in my bag. I do think he allowed someone to make a mistake and put the donuts in the wrong place, knowing I would be there later and that I really didn't want to fail at that point in what had been a successful day so far.


We serve an amazingly loving heavenly father. My God IS an awesome God. He heard my prayer. He answered my prayer. And he gave me a better way to release the stress. Laughter is the best medicine, they say. God agrees - Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine." Laughter has been proven to boost immunity, give relief from pain, and improve your mood.


Don't limit God, my friend. Watch to see how he is working in your life. Find the humor when he answers your prayers - instead of getting angry because you got the wrong donut.

Cobwebs in My Email

Oh my goodness! I have over 999+ emails to delete! Truth be told, it's about 1500+. I know most of them are sales ads, coupons I won't use, and pleas from companies to visit their websites again....so I let them pile up. When I worked as a secretary, I was emailing all day long. Receiving and sending. Replying, forwarding, and deleting. Email consumed my day. Perhaps that is why I tend to avoid it now.


I logged into my email the other day for the sole purpose of deleting unwanted garbage. I checked the boxes in bulk and hit the delete button. Over and over I repeated the process. Ten to twenty at a time. It seemed the more I deleted the more there was to delete. Junk was clogging up my inbox. It took a couple of hours...and I didn't finish.


As I sat doing this monotonous task, I began to think about how life can become like my email. Cobwebs building from inattention. Junk piling up and clogging the path, blocking the view. Friends, we must be so careful not to allow junk to pile up in our lives. Sin creeps in like that. We might ignore it. It's so easy to do. Like I ignore my inbox.


At home, I have to walk through each room with a long-handled brush to knock down the cobwebs that form in the corners. But I also have to pay attention to the blinds. Those crazy spiders like to hide behind them and build fortresses! (I saw one this morning!) Why do I do it? Well, I am not a huge fan of spiders, but mostly I don't want my guests to think I am a poor housekeeper. You see, people can see those cobwebs and the lack of attention I give to the corners of my home if I don't clean them up.


So, let me challenge you today. As I continue to build on the word I used last year to live my life - deliberate - and add more to it by being consistent this year, I am convicted of the daily need to knock down the cobwebs. If I don't log into my email daily, by the end of the week there are once again hundreds of emails I don't even care about. I must always be deliberate and consistent.


What do you care about? Are you missing treasures because of the junk piling up and blocking the view? God has so much for us! I don't know about you, but I miss a lot of it for the cobwebs.


If I am going to live deliberately consistent, I am going to have to be active daily making sure I am keeping the corners of my heart clean. I can't let any little sin hide out there. I must let God shine his light into the recesses I ignore and help me clean up. Because the real truth is, people can see when we let the cobwebs pile up in the corners of our hearts too.


It's easy to let the cobwebs pile up. I'm going to spend some time tonight cleaning up my email. More importantly, I am going to sit with the Lord and let him delete some junk I've allowed to pile up in my heart and mind. How about you?

What Will the New Year Bring?

I meant to write something days ago, but 2018 has started out with a bang. Like, the kind of bang we need one of those air-purification bomb things in our house for. We didn't have the flu at our house, but we had some sort of bug that didn't want to leave. Then other things happened and demanded time. So, on this freezing-rain, no-school, it's-best-to-stay-home morning, I am going to write! Happy New Year, everyone!


Last year I jumped onto the Word of the Year Train. My word was deliberate. I tried to be deliberate with every decision and plan I made. I didn't always succeed, but I tried. We had some major life events that took over and became so consuming that all I could do for a while was deliberately survive. Still, the idea was there, and I tried.


As 2018 began to dawn, I did what we all do - look back and evaluate. Did I deliberately plan? Did I deliberately succeed? Looking at all the things I failed at... remembering all the times I failed...because I never even tried... thinking about all the days that swept past as I could only tread water and try to stay afloat...I could have easily come to the conclusion that I was anything BUT deliberate last year. Again, I succeeded because I tried. I may have not had as much control as I would have liked, but I didn't give up. I never threw in the towel.


The question became, am I going to have a WORD for 2018. And the answer became, yes. I sat and thought about it. What would the word be? After all, there are how many to choose from?? Soon it came to me and it felt so right I knew this was my word.


                                                        CONSISTENT


Webster defines it this way: marked by harmony, regularity, or steady continuity : free from variation or contradiction  That last part is the idea I want to carry into this year. Free from variation or contradiction. Does my life, do my actions vary and contradict themselves? Is what I say agreeable to way I spend my time?  Do my thoughts and ideas bring harmony to my home and relationships? Am I steady in what I do or am I haphazard and bouncing like a loose ball down the court being chase by a very uncoordinated, clumsy lady?


My prayer is that you will see consistency in me. That you will continue to see a woman with deliberate intent to live out who she is in Christ. That when I cross your mind you will think of a woman who is steady and sure. Of my faith. Of my identity, Of my purpose.


That said, let me also say this, do NOT expect me to be perfect. You will be sorely disappointed. That is the one thing I can most certainly promise you. I am not, nor will I ever be, perfect while walking this earth. If you're looking for perfection, go somewhere else. Go to God, because He alone is perfect. When you look at me, think, she's trying. She might have failed today, but at least she is trying.


What will you try this year? Did you make a list of resolutions? Do you have a word for the year? Goals? Dreams? Life-altering decisions?




                   

Singing Out Loud

Well, my latest adventure took me no further than my very own back porch. I was out there yesterday enjoying the beautiful colors of the mountain behind me and had a blanket wrapped around me to ward of the November chill that has finally arrived. I had my Bible and my prayer journal. The birds were flying around like a storm was coming (it was), and Jack was convinced I was going to leave him alone again, so he kept coming to make sure I was still there. God and I were communing and I was totally overtaken by the remembrances of His faithfulness to me.


I started singing some songs. Old hymns at first. Then I pulled up Damaris Carbaugh and the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir's version of "He's Been Faithful." Oh, how He has been faithful to me! Even in my darkest times, those times I couldn't find my way except for Him. I could go on and on about that song, about His faithfulness, about so many things, but what I want to tell you is...


I just sat there and sang as loud as I could. It wasn't pretty. But it was heartfelt. I used to sing, loved to. Was always in a choir or group. I wasn't the best, nor was I the worst. I still sing, but it's more of a joyful noise these days. Music is such a simple way to express yourself. It conveys truth. It conveys emotion.


I think my neighbors were outside, and I even think the people in the neighborhood south of us could hear me. But I didn't care. I was singing to the Lord!


This morning I was thinking again about music and how life is like a piece of music. God creates the orchestration and stands to conduct. I must keep my eyes on Him for cues that are subtle or obvious. I must be able to read the music so I know where to put my fingers on the keys. (I will use the piano as my instrument since I have no knowledge of how to make another work.) It takes practice. It means I have to concentrate. I have to be intentional. Deliberate.


When you look at a music score, if you don't know how to read music, it will just look like a jumble of black and white lines with little characters drawn all over. You will see some words, but you won't know what they mean until you learn the vocabulary. There will be symbols that mean nothing until you understand how they lead you to play the music.


And such is life. God has created us to live and He has given us a guide. We have to read it. We have to follow the directions therein. For example, music will get softer or louder to emphasize what the composer is wanting expressed. Sometimes life is easier and sometimes busier. Another example is the time signature. It's right there at the beginning of the piece and sets the rhythm for the composition. I have played pieces where the time signature changed in the middle of the piece. Isn't that true of life? Sometimes, for a season, we have to switch up the rhythm. Usually it's just for a few bars of the piece and then the original timing is resumed. Sometimes the composer gives us freedom to interpret. He may allow us to hold onto a note for a few extra beats. Or He may give us total ad lib rights.


God expects us to read His Word to us and follow it. He whispers sometimes. Sometimes He has to write it across the sky to get our attention. He sets the pace for us on the path He has chosen for us and walks with us the whole way. Sometimes He mixes it up a little and tosses the basket. Perhaps to make us a uncomfortable with the complacency that has overtaken us or to move us into a new season of service. He may allow things to rock along like they are for a long time. And then He fills our hearts to overflowing so all we can do is open our mouths and sing with abandon of His faithfulness and our love for Him.


I have found, friend, that when my eyes are focused fully on my conductor my life flows better. There are fewer missed notes. I stay in rhythm and what people receive is a beautiful melody declaring God's love. I strive to learn more and more. I practice by reading His Word. I practice by praying daily. And, do you know what? I get better at those things the more I do them!


If you are playing with a group, like I did in the Pianorama so many years ago, you MUST follow the conductor. If you don't you end up messing up the music for everyone. The conductor demands your attention and he leads with gentle authority. My friend Monty's dad was the conductor back then, and I remember not wanting to disappoint him. Later when he was in church where I was playing a piece he had written, my hands began to sweat and I shook all over like it was twenty below zero. I wasn't expecting him there, but I wanted him to be pleased.


We must ask ourselves a couple of questions.
1. Am I preparing by learning to read the composition placed before me? In other words, am I reading my Bible?
2. Am I in-tune with the conductor and composer? Am I praying and focusing on God?


And finally, am I willing to abandon the idea of what people think and enjoy the ad lib as I sing out loud to proclaim my thanks for His faithfulness?


Make a joyful NOISE unto the Lord...come before His presence with singing. Psalm 100:1-2

Just Blowing Smoke

Know how to get your blood pumping early in the morning???


Just turn the HVAC unit in your hotel room to heat for the first time of the season. Yeah. I did that. And a cloud of smoky dust propelled itself into the room. Which, naturally and of course, set the smoke alarm off. I think I literally jumped into the air in shock and surprise. My first thought was, "Great. I've set the hotel on fire." My second thought was more logical... Turn the machine off.
I did so, thus stopping any additional smoky dust from blowing into the room. Then I tried waving my hand at the smoke detector way above my head in a futile attempt to stop the loud blast of alarm blaring forth. I laughed at myself as I did so. But before I could get to a bath towel to help fan away the guilty dusty cloud, the alarm stopped.
So, I called the front desk. After all, I was not prepared for anyone to burst into my room to put out a fire that didn't exist. I hadn't had my shower. I hadn't had my coffee. I didn't even have my glasses on yet.


My conversation with the front desk went something like this:


Me: Hello, I'm in room 310 and I just turned my unit to heat but it blew a cloud of dust and smoke and set the smoke detector off. I figured you might be seeing an alert down there.


Lady: Well, I'm supposed to, but I'm not. It hasn't been working right lately.


Me: Ok. I just wanted to let you know.


Lady: Thank you.


Ummmmmm... Not the most comforting thought. If the hotel WERE on fire, would they know it? Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point is, when the heat is on, when you find yourself under pressure, what comes out? 
When life gets tough and it feels like you can't please anyone, when there just aren't enough hours or days, when you don't know where the money will come from, when everyone expects everything immediately, do you spew out a messy stinky mess that makes people not want to be around you? Are your words harsh? Is your attitude one of bitterness? Do you attack anyone who enters your space?  Do your defenses go up causing people to have to work that much harder to offer their friendship and support?
OR
Like the old adage says, do you make lemonade from your lemons? When you are squeezed do people taste the sweet nectar of trust in One greater than yourself? Do they see you yield control to the One who holds the whole world in His hands?
Friends, the entire sequence of events with that heat unit lasted less than five seconds. It was quick. The smoke and dust blew out. I turned the machine off. The alarm went off. Less than five seconds. But the smell lasted the rest of our visit. The room smelled like scorched cheese. Have you ever made a grilled cheese sandwich and had a drop of melted cheese stick to the bottom of the pan and burn? That was the smell. Nasty.
In the interest of full disclosure, I want you to know I did try to cover up the smell. We try to cover up our stinky messes too, don't we? I had some of that bathroom spray that is supposed to eliminate any hint you were there if you spritz it before you sit. I sprayed it around the room. It helped a little, but didn't clear the smell completely. And that's what happens when we try to cover up the mess we make when we get fired up from the pressure life brings us.
Can I encourage you today to expect the heat? If the hotel crew had thought ahead and realized people were going to be cold when the temperature dropped and cleaned the units in preparation for winter, this wouldn't have happened. If we stay close to our Heavenly Father, reading his Word, praying, when the pressure comes, we will be prepared and know who we can trust to walk through the fire with us.  The heat will come. Life will get rough. But you can and will get through when you are prepared.

The Unknown

Hey, friends! I knew it had been a while since I had written, but I didn't realize half a year had passed. Well, it's been crazy busy, but life is finally settling back into its rhythm. I have made some notes of things I want to write about, and will try to be more regular about that.
Today I am, naturally, sitting on the back porch this morning listening to the bugs sing their end-of-summer songs. It's cloudy and not hot with rain expected this afternoon. We could use it! There are plenty of chores awaiting me inside and outside, but today, this is what I am doing.
I wanted to check in with you and encourage you a little bit about the unknown. I have an unknown in my life right now. I have no control of the situation. I have many questions. I have no answers. I don't know what is going to happen.
Do you ever feel that way? I know you do! We all do. And those of us who like to be in control probably have a little more trouble in these situations that you who are more que sera.sera types. I think, though, if we are totally honest, the unknown brings with it a certain amount of anxiety and distress, no matter our personality.
So. What I have chosen to do is wait on the Lord. He ultimately is in control and He has my best interests at heart. He is on my side. And if He is for me, who can be against me. Right? I'm going to ride the wave and see where it takes me. I am going to let go and let God.
Because the alternative is an ugly prospect. If I let this little unknown become a sore spot in my life, it will quickly become very aggravating to me. If I continue to pick at it, analyzing it, trying to make it happen my way, I will cause the soreness to go deeper, grow, and be visible to others. If I persist in fretting over it, I may cause an infection that spreads - not just in my own life, but in the lives of my family and friends.
As I am writing this, Proverbs 3:5-6 keeps repeating in my thoughts. I believe it's the answer to the unknown. "Trust in the Lord with all you heart, and do not rely on your own understanding: think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths."
I looked up que sera, sera in the Urban Dictionary. This is what is says: "This is something you say when you are stuck in a hopelessly unchangeable situation, but have come to accept, or even embrace the unchangability of it all. This is similar to the phrase "it is what it is." Whatever will be, will be.
Let go and let God take control of your unknown. Trusting Him is hard, but I've done it before and He brought me through. I know He won't fail me now!
(I feel I need to make a disclaimer that this has nothing to do with my health...got the all clear from my doctors again last week!)

Be Careful What You Pray For

We've all heard the phrase, be careful what you wish for. The implication being that you just might get what you wish for.


I'm here to warn you, be careful what you pray for. For the Lord just may use that prayer to reveal truths that you wish you hadn't asked for!


I love how the Lord sees so much more that we ever will. His view is eternal. Mine is limited to time and space. Feelings and emotions. Circumstances and surroundings. Actions and reactions. And I am beyond grateful that His view is what comes into focus when He answers my prayers.


You see, I've been praying about something. Two somethings, actually. And He answered them both at the same time in a way I wasn't really prepared for. To be completely honest, it kinda rattled my world. Well, to be completely honest, not kinda, it totally rocked my world. Earthquake style.


To say I was a little shocked would be an understatement. I immediately reacted and in the same instant took a deep breath while realizing this was an answer to two prayers. I wanted to say, "NO!" At the same time I screamed, "YES!"


It hurt a little. It hurt a lot. Yet, at the same time, it brought great healing. Romans 8:31 says, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" So even when an answered prayer seems to be against me, God is for me. And He is for you. He's in your corner. In my corner. And He answers our prayers in the way that will grow our faith and glorify Him.


For the last few days God has been constantly reminding me that He listens when I pray and is very aware of me and my concerns. Just a couple of nights ago I couldn't sleep. We had a pressing issue and it woke me up around three a.m. So I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Fitfully. Restlessly. It felt like I was wrestling with Him until suddenly a scripture crossed my mind. Truth. A promise. You know the coolest thing? After that verse crossed my mind, I fell straight into the deepest and most restful sleep I've had in a long time.


Even more cool than that, yesterday I saw that prayer answered. Early. God is so good!


Sometimes the answers are unexpected and a little painful. Maybe a lot painful. Sometimes the answers are early, and sometimes we have to wait and wait and wait.


The most important thing we can remember is that God is on our side. He hears us when we call. And call we must. Step into your war-room, friend, and cry out to Jesus. He's waiting.

Climbing Out of the Boat

I never really learned to swim. Jumping off the diving board and playing in the water never excited or intrigued me. I can swim enough to get from side to side of the pool. Even when I am soaking up sun on a float, I constantly stay aware of where I am in case I tip off - don't want to be in the deep end for that!


The deep end. Totally immersed. Water above, below, all around. I never watched Titanic because I think the worst way to die would be drowning. I hate when I'm watching shows and there is a drowning scene. I try to stay out of the deep end.


I have found myself to be safely floating along in my cozy little boat on a peaceful little river with a surface like glass reflecting the surrounding mountains and bright sun rays...and there God is, bidding me to climb out. Is he crazy?! Doesn't he know it's dangerous out there?! Doesn't he know I can't swim?! Surely he is calling someone else, not me. Yeah, that's got to be the answer. He has me mistaken for someone else.


Yet, here I am, climbing over the side. Ever so gently testing the waters, so to speak, and hoping for solid footing. Even on the water. Because He has reminded me it's not about how well I can swim but whether my eyes are on Him.


With my eyes locked onto His, I am taking the cautious first step. Hoping beyond hope that I have learned from Peter's mistake and I won't get distracted and look away - not even the slightest glance away.  I dare not blink.


What's the purpose? Why can't I just paddle my way over to where you are, Lord? Why do I have to leave my relative safety and step out where I've never been before?


Two songs, both water themed, have been consuming me the past few days. Both reminding me as they play over and over in my thoughts that God is calling me. Out upon the water. Into a great unknown. Where feet may fall. And there I find you in the mystery....there I find HIM in the mystery. It's not for me to know. It IS for me to obey. (That song is Oceans, in case you were wondering.) The other song is called Walking on Water. And it simply states, I'm walking on water, my eyes on you. I'm walking on water, coming after YOU.


I can honestly tell you, it's all still a great mystery right now. I'm not sure what lies ahead of me, but I am beyond excited for a new adventure! So, my eyes are fixed on Jesus. And I suppose I am going to be going deeper than my feet could ever wander. And I know that through it my faith will absolutely be made stronger.


Like I said, I'm not sure of it all just yet, but I felt that by sharing this I may encourage someone else to get out of the boat. For me, I think it has something to do with boldness. Boldness to be an example. Boldness to speak up in love. Boldness to venture into new territory and teach with the passion God has given me. To be open and honest about my own walk with the Lord in a way I never have before.


But you have to know that as I planned to write today and share what God is doing, Satan tried to derail me. He was quick to tell me what a failure I am. A real disappointment. Unusable. A distraction instead of a light.


But God. Oh, those precious words! But God affirmed and reaffirmed what He is teaching me. Not revealing the goal, but reminding me to keep my eyes on the prize.


So, here goes nothin'! I'm climbing over the side of my secure, comfortable, happy place and stepping into the new adventure God has for me. I really hope you'll climb over the side that is keeping you safe and secure and come with me on your own adventure. Let's see what God has in store for those who trust Him!


Stay tuned! I'll let you know what happens next!
 

It's Been Three Years!

I'll never forget it. The day of my regular mammogram three years ago today.


As I was leaving the house I had something more than the normal jitters. I remember stopping just before I walked out the door and the overwhelming feeling - no, knowledge - that today was different.


I had been going to this women's center for years. And even though it was only once a year, there was still familiarity with the staff.  So, when the lady doing the mammogram looked at her screen with the faintest glimpse of concern, I knew. I knew she saw something.


Then when she had me wait and came back to tell me I was going straight to ultrasound...I knew.


As I laid there and prayed, "God! Please don't let them find anything!" I knew. I was keenly aware of His presence in the room. Calming me. Assuring me that along this journey He would be right beside me all the way.


I went home to wait for the call from the radiologist. You know they don't normally call you the same day. But today I was told he would call me around 3:00. He did. And with gentle urgency he simply said, "Vicki, you need to see a surgeon as soon as possible."


After that, life became a whirlwind of appointments. Doctor and test. Doctor and test. Doctor and test. Then the briefing and the plan. I cried a lot during those couple weeks. The unknown brings fear. My husband and I often sat together quietly. Then we cried. Then we tried to live normally, but normal was different now.


I remember one night in the grocery store just breaking down in tears. Not in sobs, just uncontrollable tears streaming down my face. When Connally asked me what was wrong, I could only say, "I want to buy groceries for you for years to come and I don't know if I will get to."


On the day we met with my oncologist for the briefing and treatment plan I asked God to let us get some good news. It seemed like everyone had been giving us the worst. The doctor looked me in the eye and said, "If it hasn't spread it is treatable, and it hasn't spread." I felt the smile overtake my face and my heart as I instantly knew God had answered my prayer. Those last three words were the hope I needed so desperately.


I learned so much about the Lord during this journey. I have a coffee mug that was given to me twenty-eight years ago after another tough season of life. The poem on it goes like this:

The Lord is always by my side

My gentle shepherd, constant guide,

My Master, Teacher, Faithful Friend,

His loving kindness knows no end.

It's so true. Through chemo and the sickness and effects it brings to radiation and the debilitating fatigue and burns on my skin to today as a three-year survivor, the Lord has walked every step with me. I give Him the glory for my recovery. I praise Him for allowing me to take this never-longed-for journey. I thank Him for choosing me.

Now my prayer is to continue as a survivor. More than that, though, I pray I will always, with each step I take, with every word I speak, reflect Jesus. Because no matter what it happening in your life, good or bad, He never leaves your side and He will give you the strength to keep on going even when you don't think you can take another step.

So, celebrate with me today! And continue to keep me in your prayers as I go for my quarterly exam next week and my annual mammogram at the end of the month. We will always cling to the words of my sweet friend who is in heaven now, "God's got this!"

Thank you, friends, for being there. You are not taken for granted and are deeply appreciated. Here's to a lifetime of adventure!



A New Year and a New Word

Where does the time go? I remember being young and carefree. Running and playing in the neighborhood. Barbies and Easy Bake Ovens and pedal cares and bike rides. Girl Scouts and GAs. It really does seem like yesterday.


But here I am with the reality that 60 is looming just over the horizon. How in the world did I get to be almost 60?!?!


This rapid passing of time only serves to remind me how precious life is. How important it is that I not let any adventure pass me by.


So, as 2017 approached and dawned I thought about my resolutions. I'm really no good at resolutions. Unlike my friend who reviews hers at the end of the year to see what she accomplished, mine are quickly either failed or forgotten. That's why I didn't make any resolutions this year.


Since I'm trying to stay young, I decided to do what I've seen the young folks doing and choose a word for my year. I did not take this decision lightly. It was much harder than I thought it would be. I wanted to have the right word. Not just a word I saw someone else use. Not a word that would be too easy to live up to. I wanted a word to push me forward. A word that would help me welcome a better me.


What word did I choose? Deliberate. In my humble opinion it is the best word for the new year. I will deliberately live my life. I won't spend my time tossed about aimlessly by circumstances and other people's opinions. I won't waste my time doing things that have no matter or lasting impact on this world. I won't find myself suddenly thinking, "Why am I doing this?"


At least that's the plan. The plan is to live deliberately. Making choices that are for the best of myself and anyone around me. Opting for healthier choices. Breaking some habits that have wasted my time away and building new habits that will develop into a better me. Reading more. Eating better. Walking. Not to get too crazy, but maybe even some yoga! In all honesty, deliberately choosing to do the things that would have been on my list of resolutions had a made one.


It's day six of this new year, and I have been trying to be deliberate. I, however, much like Paul, find myself saying - oh, that I would do the things I want to do and not do the things I don't want to do!


But tomorrow's another day. And like the twins say, "His mercies are new every Monday!" Being that tomorrow is Saturday, I am thankful His mercies are new every MORNING! How will you live out 2017? I hope that in 359 more days I will be able to look back and see the good result of living deliberately!

Shout Out to Some Special Moms

Last Sunday I ran into a former student and his mother. She is such a sweet lady, always very friendly and kind. Her son is a good boy, quiet, never in trouble. I hadn't seen them in a couple of years.


As we laughed and talked, catching up on what life has been like since last we met, she asked how I am. I knew what she meant. The cancer. For, the last time I saw her was when I was still at war with that beast. I smiled, looked at her and said, "I am doing really well. Cancer free."


Oh, the smile that crossed her face!


But what she did after that was even better. She looked at her son and told him I don't have cancer anymore. And reminded him they had prayed for me. He remembered.


Take that in, people. Not only had my adult friend prayed for me, she had led her son to pray for me.


She is not alone. I have several other friends who I know specifically led their children to pray for me. I'm not talking the cursory comments of ya'll pray for Mrs. Million. I'm talking about people who sincerely led their young children to and in prayer.


As I looked at my husband and told him about a gift this momma had given me I began to think about other mommas whose children had brought me small gifts full of meaning and value. Things I treasure today.


What I treasure most, though, is knowing there are mommas out there teaching their kids to pray. Teaching them to care and love. Teaching them that people are important. Teaching them to share the love of Jesus.


Thank you, ladies. You know who you are. There is no better gift you can give your children than to teach them about that sweet hour of prayer. There is no better gift you could have ever given me.